Ace Ventura: Aaalll righty then.
Robert Englund: I think they'd like to see us together again.
Heather Lagenkamp: In what? A romantic-comedy?
Robert Englund: Just because it's a love story doesn't mean it can't have a decapitation or two.
The Judge: Deciding what is true and what isn't now seems to me...a lack of modesty.
Valentine: Vanity?
The Judge: Vanity.
Shiwan Khan: In three days, the entire world will hear my roar, and willingly fall subject to the lost empire of Shan Kahn. That is a lovely tie, by the way. May I ask where you acquire it?
Lamont Cranston: Brooks Brothers.
Shiwan Khan: Is that mid-town?
Lamont Cranston: 45th and Madison. You are a barbarian.
Shiwan Khan: Thank you. We both are.
Roy: Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, so sayeth the Psalms.
Judge Harry Roosevelt: That's Proverbs 12:22.
Dr. Bill Capa: What do you give a suicidal patient who's got everything?
Dr. Bob Moore: A parachute. I heard it already.
John Trent: Every species can smell its own extinction. The last ones left won't have a pretty time with it. In ten years, maybe less, the human race will just be a bedtime story for their children. A myth, nothing more.
Maurice L. Pogue: It's so nice seeing all your faces here: John and Susan and Mary and Fred and Ethel, Little Ricky.
Claudette: I've told you, not to bother me before a show, or after a show. Or, at home in my bedroom, when I'm thinking about a show.
Chris Morrow: Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Excuse me?
Chris Morrow: KGB, for short.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Oh, come on! It's the KG-used-to-B.