Jack Walsh: Here come two words for you: shut the fuck up.
Willow: What are you doing?
Madmartigan: I found some blackroot. She loves it.
Willow: Blackroot? I am the father of two children and you never, ever give a baby blackroot.
Madmartigan: Well my mother raised us on blackroot. It's good for you. Puts hair on your chest. Doesn't it, Sticks?
Willow: Her name is not Sticks. She's Elora Danan, the future empress of Tir Asleen and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest.
Mrs. Darcy: Broaden your minds - have another beer. Have two.
Col. James Braddock: Walk or crawl, we're gonna make it.
Kid: That's an iguana. It's real big lizard. You can eat it, but it tastes like shit. Right, Mick?
Ducky: The tree is talking.
Littlefoot: No it isn't.
Ducky: You should not eat talking trees. Nope, nope nope.
King of the Moon: I think, therefore you is.
Garfield: 2,000 BC was a good year to be a cat in Egypt. We were revered, even worshipped. Ah, for the good ole days.
Donald Blake: He wants me to be more heroic, me.
Kalgan: It was cruel fate to be born in space, but I have vowed we will not die here. It is my destiny to set my feet upon a real world to accumulate wealth and power beyond our wildest dreams. I have offered the people of the Southern Sun a rich, new life, and now they have no alternative but to accept my generosity and alter course for Corona Borealis.
Janet Cruise: It's ruined. It's totally ruined.
Eric Cruise: It wasn't me, mom! It was a little creature! I saw it.
Janet Cruise: The house is totally destroyed.
Eric Cruise: What do you want me to say?
Janet Cruise: I don't want you to say anything.
Vance: We do not want to end up with a low potassium level.
Pee-wee: Duh, Vance! You'd think I never went to agricultural junior college.
Wanda Saknussemm: Bitchin' left hook, Crassus.
Lt. Nikolai: You lied to me General.
General Vortek: I sent you on a mission... to help an oppresed people.
Lt. Nikolai: But you didn't tell me who the oppressors were, did you?
General Vortek: Nikolai... you were, SPETZNATS.
Lt. Nikolai: I AM SPETZNAS... but I'm no longer one of you.
Colonel: This is our coordinator, Maj. Murphy Black. Multi-decorated field officer, better known as "Killzone."
Mascher: Why do they have nicknames?
Colonel: You should know what the group is called. "BAM."
Mascher: BAM?
Colonel: Big Ass Motherfuckers.