Mrs. Harper: I don't see why you wanna waste your time with a guy who works in a filling station.
Amy Harper: It's a first date, Mama. We're not getting married.
Marti: But Seth is bringing back help.
Jeff Reed: Seth isn't coming back.
Warren: There's nothing out there but God's little creatures, more scared of you than you are of them.
Yolanda: Oh, look. Isn't that that boy Bavarian from Budapest?
Waldemar: No, that's a fruit bat from the Philippines.
Radish: Aha. Shades of Watergate.
Bag Lady: Don't know why they want to persecute me because I don't talk to women. All women do is laugh, and sing, and say the word 'Pussy'. Y'ask any doctor, and he'll tell you that.
The Gyro Captain: No! It's my snake, I trained it, I'm going to eat it! I got a recipe for snake. Delicious. Fricassee of reptile. You are what you eat.
Mark: You're getting a raise out of me all right, but it has nothing to do with money.
Frank Chambers: What are you, uh, Greek or something?
Cora: What... do I look Greek?
Sally Miles: You know, you are sexually notorious.
Tim Culley: Semi-fraudulent reputation - which I do everything I can to encourage.
Sally Miles: Why?
Tim Culley: Because it's the best way for an old man to compete in a young man's world.
Bob Hauk: There was an accident. About an hour ago, a small jet went down inside New York City. The President was on board.
Snake Plissken: The president of what?
Carl: Hey, who turned off the band?
Spencer: It's all set. Noleen and her bayou queens. Just a little something for morale. And let me add, Sergeant, that these women are expecting some, uh, small unit military penetration.
Krokov: Have you seen this report on this Condorman? On this man Wilkins? He is an amateur, do you hear? He is not an agent of the CIA! He is a writer of comic books.
Bob Boyle: Ann? Mommy says you're not dead. Is that true?
Don: You're dead.
Eva: And you will be, too. Dead and wet and cold.
Yosemite Sam: Where am I? It sure is powerful warm in here. Is this Dallas?
Satan: No, but you're close.
Cuddles Kovinsky: Gee, Francine! You're the most drinkin'est gal I know.