Fairy Godmother: You're not meant to understand it. You're meant to accept it. Graciously.
Franklin Frank: Any jerk can direct.
Lucy: Are you a doctor?
Al: Yeah, how'd you know?
Lucy: Dirty shoes and clean white hands.
Al: A lot of guys have clean hands.
Lucy: But not that clean. It must have taken you ten years at least to get them that clean.
Al: What are you, a commercial or what?
Kate Moore: You laugh at me, you bastard, and I'll shoot you where you stand.
Kathy: I wanted vanilla twist.
Jessica: Let's take our clothes off first, before they freeze on us.
Hellsgate rancher: They call this country Hell's Gate. When my dad came in here, it was nothing but a bunch of savage Indians. And Jesuits. Old Thomas Jefferson said that he was a warrior so his son could be a farmer, so his son could be a poet. And I raise cattle so my son can be a merchant, so his son can move to Newport, Rhode Island and buy a sailboat and never see one of these bastard-ass sons of bitching mountains again.
Si: Who was Thomas Jefferson?
Hellsgate rancher: A guy back east.
Bob Woodward: Who's Charles Colson?
Harry Rosenfeld: Sit down. You know I'm glad you asked me that question. The reason I'm glad you asked me is because if you had asked Simons or Bradlee they woulda said, "You know we're gonna have to fire this schmuck at once because he's so dumb."
Woody Guthrie: This land is your land/This land is my land/From California to the New York Island/From the Redwood forests to the Gulf Stream waters/This land was made for you and me.
Dan: Look, Bendix made a stew. I had no idea there was a foot in it.
Sherlock Holmes: No, Watson! The Queen wouldn't like it.
Fred Wilson: I know the day, the hour you completed your toilet training.
Tim: Sid what do you know about romance?
Sid: Nothing, I'm married.
Arthur Adamson: Isn't it touching how a perfect murder has kept our friendship alive all these years.
Sybil Dorsett: Who dat?
Richard J. Loomis: Who dat who say who dat?
Sybil Dorsett: Who dat who say who dat who say who dat?
Max Schumacher: She does have one script in which I kill myself: An adapted for television version of "Anna Karenina", where she's Count Vronsky and I'm Anna.
Dr. Abner Perry: You cannot mesmerise me! I'm British.
Mycroft Holmes: Ah Jenkins, we shall need a cab.
Nicole Dressler: Oh, what is it all about?
Dr. Jonathan Chamberlain: I'd say a slight case of, uh...food poisoning.
Nicole Dressler: I think either you're a lousy doctor or a lousy liar.
Jason Smith: How come you can speak Indian?
Zachariah Coop: Well, my mother was the daughter of a Cherokee chief.
Jason Smith: Really?
Zachariah Coop: Yeah.
Jason Smith: What was she like?
Zachariah Coop: I don't really remember because she died two years before I was born.