Ray Henderson: Listen, you! This is Northern Soul, not Northern Arsehole.
Bill: You're supposed to wear the blue dress when I wear this.
Mary: I don't want to dress like twins anymore.
Bill: We're not twins. We're a trio.
Shelly: It's just... funny, don't yah think, that when you can't afford something, it's like really expensive but then when you can afford it, it's like, free? It's kinda backwards, don't yah think?
Cate: Yeah, well... the world is a bit like that, I guess, in a lot of ways.
Big Dick Richie: Tomorrow, we start the pilgrimage to Myrtle Beach for the convention.
Jacki: A murderer, a rapist and a dyke go into a tattoo parlor.
Dan: You can tell a lot about a person by what's on their playlist.
Greta: I know you can. That's what's worrying me.
John Lennon: We're gonna be big Stu, we're gonna be too big for Liverpool, we're gonna be too big for Hamburg, we're gonna be too big for our own bloody good.
Bobby Darin: You're gonna be easy to love.
Erika Kohut: Do you like me calling you darling?
Walter Klemmer: It's absolutely marvelous.
Erika Kohut: You must be patient. I'll give you all the names, we'll play all the games you want.
Walter Klemmer: You know you really stink? Sorry, you stink so much, no-one will ever come close to you. You'd be better leave town until you don't stink so bad. Rinse your mouth more often, not just when my cock makes you puke.
Nurse: Is this man bothering you?
Phil: 'Course he is. He's me dad.
Emily: I can't just do whatever I want. There are rules.
Sean: Break the rules.
Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.
The Dealer - Mrs. Clover: That hearse is still outside, go away, go away.
Daisy Clover: Oh it's going away all right Old Chap, with me in it.
Lazarus: I'm cookin' steaks fah dinnah. I expect you to stay.
Bob: What do you play?
Romulus Ledbetter: My skull.
Tony Wilson: What's wrong with London Records?
Rob Gretton: The name, for a start.
Alex Fletcher: Theoretically, I could pick you up because I will be taking a cab.
Sophie Fisher: I could be standing outside at 9:40 in bright orange clothes, so you wouldn't miss me.
Alex Fletcher: Oh good, you'll get some road work done while you wait, then.
Ben Kurtzman: You don't walk out on Sinatra, sir.