Colonel Pitts: Where you from, son?
Soldier: Omaha, sir.
Colonel Pitts: By this time next year pigeons are going to be crapping on statues of you across the whole damn state of Nebraska.
Carnahan: If he's not gonna eat her, why did he take her?
Jack Prescott: Apes are highly territorial. He's probably gonna take her back to his turf.
Carnahan: What for? Joe and the guys, uh, said that you said the ape was gonna marry her. Is that some kinda joke or did you really mean his huge.
Jack Prescott: I don't know, Carnahan! Look, I'm just as ignorant about this as you are, so quit askin' me so many dumb questions, will ya?
Fairy Godmother: You're not meant to understand it. You're meant to accept it. Graciously.
Dr. Abner Perry: You cannot mesmerise me! I'm British.
Sherlock Holmes: No, Watson! The Queen wouldn't like it.