Narrator: When you're a gay man, you have to feel good about yourself when a urologist says, 'Yeah. I pick you.'.
Chairman: Please, Sayuri, do not be afraid to look at me.
Alexandra 'Nightingale' Morgan: If we're lucky, the zombie plague will end up as a footnote in the history books. No worse than aids or bubonic plague.
Newcastle fan #1: Hows it going?
Newcastle fan #2: We've made all the early running.
Newcastle fan #1: How long's it been on?
Newcastle fan #2: A minute.
Adam: I may be damaged goods, but I'm goods none the less.
Jennifer Smith: Would you stop it?
Tommy Smith: We need to help daddy.
Jennifer Smith: Shut up! Watch the tv. That's the police, okay? They're gonna help.
Tommy Smith: We gotta cut the tape.
Jennifer Smith: Shut up.
Tommy Smith: Pull all together, okay? Off the bed then like maybe we can get what's under the bed.
Jennifer Smith: Under my bed? What's under my bed?
Tommy Smith: Your bong. We can break it.
Jennifer Smith: What? Have you been sneaking in my room?
Nick Naylor: How many deaths does alcohol cause each year, a hundred thousand? That's what, like twelve hundred a day? That's hardly a tragedy.
First Junior Grizzly: Hey Skeever, what do you put in a jar and shake till they're dead?
Second Junior Grizzly: Fireflies.
Lt. Colonel Mucci: General, this is the man who led the raid... Captain Prince.
General Kreuger: Congratulations, soldier. I'm very sorry for your losses, but I want to let you know you men have done a great service to your country.
Captain Prince: Thank you, sir.
Veeck: Doll.
Matt Stifler: Bite my nuts and call me Skippy.
Jonathan Cold: You see, in this business... the keys to the kingdom is weapons-grade plutonium. If you ain't got that, you ain't got shit.
Oliver Martin: Emily, I'm flat broke. I don't have a job. I don't have a plan. And I know, I know I'm probably six years too late, but will you give me strike one back?
Zachary Beaulieu 15 à 21 ans: I want to be like everyone else.
Madame Chose: Thank God, you never will.
Girl at Party: Your doing that babbling thing again.
Teddy Harwood: I think babbling is cool.
Hollywood Henderson: Katelin.
Katelin Kingsford: Et tu, Hollywood?
Pete Van Heuten: Yo-ho-ho, mofo.
Louis Howe: Why are you a Democrat?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The Democratic Party is the party of the people, and I'm a man of the people.
Louis Howe: You're a Roosevelt. Since when does a Roosevelt know about people?