Eddie Lowery: Hey Francis, I had a dream last night that you shot a 72.
Francis Ouimet: Yeah, it won't be easy in a northeaster.
Eddie Lowery: Come on. You played the course like a one-legged dog how many times.
Francis Ouimet: You're right. Good day for 72.
Eddie Lowery: Okey-dokey, time to smokey.
Skip: Yeah, this is Skip Engblom and the Zephyr Skateboard Team. Here's our entry fees. Now where's our trophies?
Pickle Factory boss: Writer huh? Are you sure?
Henry Chinaski: No, I'm not. I'm halfway through a novel.
Pickle Factory boss: What's it about?
Henry Chinaski: Everything.
Pickle Factory boss: It's about... cancer?
Henry Chinaski: Yes.
Pickle Factory boss: How about my wife?
Henry Chinaski: She's in there too.
Tobin Keller: You lose somebody, you lose somebody. I don't wanna lose two somebodies.
Melquiades Estrada: Promise me one thing, Pete. If I die over here, carry me back to my family and bury me in my home town. I don't want to be buried on this side among all the fucking billboards.
Hooker (Janet Moran): Oi. You doing business, do it somewhere else, love. This pavement's got my name on it.
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And what, pray, is your name? Concrete?
Hooker (Janet Moran): My name is scratch your eyes out, and bite your bleed'n nose off. Which is what I'll do if you don't get off my patch.
Mr. Silky String: She giving you trouble, sir?
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, no trouble at all. We were just exchanging names.
Audrey Billings: You said if I needed anything.
Frank Martin: I can't.
Audrey Billings: Why, because of who I am?
Frank Martin: Because of who I am.
Fender : Welcome to Robot City. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. And if you can't make it there, welcome to the club.
Maitre D': Whats wrong with him?
Elizabeth Masterson: It's a tension pneumothorax.
David Abbott: I think it's a tension nemothax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Nuemathax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Numathurman.
Elizabeth Masterson: Never mind.
David Abbott: Never mind.
Dean Whiting: In this town, you're innocent until you're investigated.
Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon Green: She's right?
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: Always?
Percy: Right.
Simon Green: Right.
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.
Badawi: You'll die with me.
Mike Rogo: Not today.
John Rolfe: She weaves all things together.
Holly: Hey, there's something down here.
T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: Those mother fuckers.
Reggie: I see buckets of dead relatives! Extra crispy! Extra crispy.
Ben Mitchell: How much do you want for this?
Mick Taylor: I'm not gonna charge ya, you stupid bastard. Did you hear that?"How much"! Ha ha ha.
Father Moore: Once you've looked into the darkness, I think you carry it with you for the rest of your life.