Theo Calder: I'm Dr. Calder. You've been charged with one count of murder and found incompetent to stand trial.
Pete: She had a demon in her for a while. My neighbour, Mrs. Karsh.
Theo Calder: Mm-hmm.
Pete: It would come and go. Nobody saw it... except me.
Theo Calder: What did it look like, the demon?
Pete: Um... Did you ever see "Alien" with Sigourney Weaver?
Theo Calder: It looked like a giant insect?
Pete: No. It looked like Sigourney Weaver.
Barry W. Blaustein: I could never get over the fact that guys could beat the crap out of each other in the ring, and be friendly outside of it. Some of Terry's most famous matches were against a man twenty years his junior: Mick Foley. Over the years, Mick and Terry had traveled the world, setting each other on fire, tossing each other into barbed wire. Yet outside the ring, they were truly at peace with one another.
Dr. Lester: I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech.
The Dog: Kill. Kill. Kill.
Stevie: Ah, the way.
Lois McNally: If you need anything call me, although I don't know how to do anything except buy clothes.
Robert K. Bowfinger: I'm 49 years old. Admittedly, I could get away with 44, 41, maybe 38. When you hit 50 they don't hire you anymore. It's like they can smell 50.
Jason Whitney/Jerry Ashton: Hey! What'd you do to the world?
Douglas Hall: Turned it off.
Larry Mann: Here's to the profound religious experience that comes from doing a job well and being grossly underpaid.
Oscar Novak: ...she has an ass so sexy, I struggle to understand it.
Gustave: I'll never forgive you, you know.
Valerie: For what?
Gustave: For marrying him instead of me.
PJ: I don't hate women. I love ladies.
Ruth Barron: Ha! Ladies! You wouldn't know any. I bet you date little Barbie dolls, don't you?"Oh, you're so brainy, you're so big! Can I suck your dick?" Can I be alone now?
Tom Wall: You okay?
Frank Pierce: Never felt better in my life, how are you?
Archie Gates: Bush told the people to rise up against Saddam. They thought they'd have our support. They don't. Now they're getting slaughtered.
Eddie: You have the American dream! The American dream is to be born in the gutter and have nothing. Then to raise up and have all the money in the world, and stick it in your ears and go plbtlbtlbltlbtlblt! That's a pretty good dream.
Alvin Straight: I want to thank you for your kindness to a stranger.
Danny Riordan, Clermont Resident: It's been a genuine pleasure having you here, Alvin. Write to us some time.
Alvin Straight: I will.
Bishop Cauchon: Poor, deluded Joan. She has no idea she has put a monster on the throne. Those are my last words as Your Majesty's spiritual advisor.
Harry: Shut the hell up, Francis, or I won't tell anyone where you are, and that would suck for you.