God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
Annie Braddock: There's a common belief among anthropologists that you must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world in order to truly understand your own.
Francis: Dad's bags aren't gonna make it.
Michelangelo: Dudes, did anyone get the license plate number of that thing that hit us last night? Man, my head.
Donatello: Okay, that was just weird, first the Foot, then that hideous monster,.
Michelangelo: Yeah, it looked like your mom, dude.
Donatello: Yeah, that would make her your mom too, dufus.
Michelangelo: Whatever.
Rod Kimble: Have fun being married to satan.
Ivan "Fire Urchin": Stepped on me, stepped on me? Are you kidding? This guy was dancing on me! I mean just look at this, broken, broken, gone, gone, broken, broken, broken.
Rusty Ryan: Are you all right?
Danny Ocean: Yeah, um, I just bit into a red pepper.
Rusty Ryan: Is that... Are you... Are you watching Oprah?
Lenny: You may find this hard to believe, but most of the guys here don't have a lot of experience with girls.
Dewey Cox: Edith, I am starting to think... that maybe you don't believe in me.
Edith: I do believe in you. I just know you're gonna fail.
Melanie 'Mel' Whitfield: So, technically, you slept with Santa?
Kelli Whitfield: Well, I didn't know he was Santa at the time... but technically, I guess I did.
Melanie 'Mel' Whitfield: Well, ho, ho, ho.
Lars Lindstrom: I was hoping winter was over.
Margo: No, it's just a thaw - winter isn't over till Easter.
Annabelle Fritton: Daddy, you can't expect me to stay here, it's like Hogwarts for Pikeys!
Sandra: Tea can do many things, Jane, but it can't bring back the dead.
Bruce Campbell: You don't know fear, kid. You've never worked with Sam Raimi.
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off.
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?