Joaquin: Woah! How did you learn to fight like that?!
Alejandro: Prison changes a man.
DJay: Is a pig's pussy pork?
Luce: What's your name, anyway?
H: Everyone calls me 'H'. They tell me it's short for Henrietta, but it's not. It's short for Jesus "H" Christ. That's what my mummy said when she found out she was pregnant with me.
Mike McCormick: Can you fish out of this boat.
Harry Volpi: Caught more fish than John the Baptist?
Mike McCormick: Who's John the Baptist?
Harry Volpi: Something tells me this kid spends a little too much time at the boat garage.
Regina: I hate to be the bitch but are we gonna play or what?
Tom: Aw Regina, you love to be the bitch.
Reporter: Conners, can we have a few words?
Quentin Conners: Yeah, I have two words for you. Blow me.
Steve Coogan: Womb with a view.
Sir Nicholas: What queer finery he wears.
Geoff Tipps: I'm not queer, don't bum me.
Roland Sharp: I gave up alcohol about ten years ago.
Molly McCarthy: Didn't like yourself when you were drinking, huh?
Roland Sharp: Hell, I loved myself when I was drinking. It was the other people that had the problem.
Bernard Berkman: How do you know they were both Frank's?
Ms. Lemon: Well, I suppose it's possible other kids are masturbating and spreading their semen around the school as well... It's possible, but, uh, somewhat unlikely.
Bernard Berkman: Oh, it happens, I'm sure, much more than we know.
Joan Berkman: Bernard, have you ever done anything like this?
Bernard Berkman: I'm not going to answer that.
Otis: I'm in. Except for no money, it's a no-brainer for me. First off, making a stag film has to be a good time. Number two, my hat's off to you. Good job. We can do this. Wha-what are we talking about here? Making a dirty movie - film, whatever, whatever. What does that require? Pointing a camera at a he and a she... he'in and a-she'in.
Singleton: Yeah, well, you play like a girl.
Hayley Goodfairer: Excuse me?
Grace Margaret Mulligan: There's nothing to be afraid of. We've taken all of the family's weapons.
Wilhelm: No. I'm afraid of what will happen now. I feel we ain't ready - for a completely new way of life. At Manderlay we slaves took supper at seven. When do people take supper when they're free? We don't know these things.
Sasha: It's all right! They're the brothers Grimm! People talk about them in Marsburg! They're famous!
Will: Right you are son! The famous brothers Grimm. Look at this strapping young man.
Gregor: "He" is my daughter.
Will: And a fine wife he'll make some lucky man.
Georges Laurent: Isn't it lonely, if you can't go out?
Georges' Mom: Why? Are you less lonely because you can sit in the garden? Do you feel less lonely in the metro than at home? Well then! Anyway, I have my family friend... with remote control. Whenever they annoy me, I just shut them up.
Gracie Hart: Cheryl would never refer to her ass as her booty! Cheryl would never refer to her ass, period! She calls it her "popo".
Walter Abrams: Stats are not enough, you need a voice! These are gamblers ready to risk what they can't afford for what they can't have, you're selling the world's rarest commodity: certainty, in an uncertain world.
Chief Jesse Stone: Suit. Write me up statement for the local paper about how we have this all under control.
Luther 'Suitcase' Simpson: Me?
Chief Jesse Stone: Yeah, you're good at that.
Luther 'Suitcase' Simpson: I am?