Arsenio Hall: Yo, man. That's like a fresh burqa for the ghetto or something. With Yu-Gi-Oh! drawers and everything.
Vinnie: I thought a great place to meet girls would be night school, you know, where they teach English as a second language. You know, because these girls would be from foreign lands and, you know, maybe still a little disoriented from the journey and I would look attractive because... I speak English very goodly. But in the end it did not work out as I had hoped, I mean, basically I was told to take a hike in fourteen languages.
Amos Cadbury: Now wait a minute, you mean to tell me that that.
Sarah Leigh: I know it sounds crazy. Amos, I don't know how it happen. It's only thing that makes sense even if it is Twilight Zone kind of sense.
Amos Cadbury: The guy that... killed Jeremy and your daddy? That you helped send to the electric chair? Millard Findlemeyer? Has come back from the dead... to get revenge on you... inside a cookie?
Loki: Okay, no let me think. What should I turn him into?
Rob Brydon: The thing is, I can't act.
Steve Coogan: I know that.
Rob Brydon: ...with Gillian Anderson. I have a sexual thing for Gillian Anderson.
The Kid: So, as just a guy who gave another guy a sandwich, you have, like, any philosophical tips or anything, for a guy on a-kind of - road trip?
Don Johnston: You asking me?
The Kid: Yeah.
Don Johnston: Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future, isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is, is this. The present. That's it.
The Kid: Are you a Buddhist?
Gracie Hart: Wake up and smell the iced vente decaf caramel macchiato.
Coop: Later on tonight, we're going to fall madly in bed.
Julian Noble: I'm as serious as an erection problem.
Narrator: When you're a gay man, you have to feel good about yourself when a urologist says, 'Yeah. I pick you.'.
Romy White: Why am I the only one who sees how great I am?
Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: You hit like a girl.
Nicholas Yuleson: You kiss like a guy.
Hollywood Henderson: Katelin.
Katelin Kingsford: Et tu, Hollywood?
Marienne Hotchkiss: Dance is a very powerful drug Mr. Keane. If embraced judiciously, it can exorcise demons, access deep seated emotions and color your life in joyous shades of brilliant magenta that you never knew existed. But, one must shoulder its challenges with intrepid countenance if one is ever to reap its rewards.
Ritchie: That's it. You're fired.
Isabel Bigelow: Doesn't matter... I quit! Yeah, so you better call my agent.
Jim Fields: You don't have an agent.
Isabel Bigelow: Then call my cable man.
Cousin Bo: I wanna buzz your butt.
Sir Nicholas: What queer finery he wears.
Geoff Tipps: I'm not queer, don't bum me.
Adam Forrest: I heard once that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you.