Angelo Pike: He was jacked up higher than a prom dress in June.
Marvin Bonds: This is the fight for what's right. This is the brawl for it all. This fight ain't about money, this is their heavyweight champion, against our heavyweight champion. This fight is for respect. R-e-s-p-e-ck. Respect.
Rayford Steele: What can you do?
Buck Williams: I can't do anything, but God can.
John: We've been banging together like a pair of cymbals in an overworked marching band.
Nadine: I read somewhere once that everything in life happens in threes. And that there are two kinds of people, the ones that think three's the charm and the ones that think in three strikes you're out.
Desmond Doyle: I never laid a hand to her in anger once, though she gave me just cause for it. Maybe that's where I went wrong.
Cassie: What's this smell like to you?
Cap. Rod Cody: Smells like vomit.
Cassie: Bag some up and send it to the lab.
Igby: Well, I guess DH told you.
Mimi: What?
Igby: Well, we've decided to bump all those incredibly prominent and terribly chic persons that you were expecting to speak at your memorial and, well, have me speak for two hours or so.
Mimi: What a clever idea. You do understand though, don't you, that it is customary in a eulogy to at least make reference to the deceased?
Igby: I intend to, Mother... time permitting.
Jane: Don't you see, Hook? You will never win. Not as long as there's faith, trust, and pixie dust.
Trailer Trash Thumb: A lot of kids were disappearing in the woods, all mysterious like. And people thought it might be... David Copperfield. In a stage show, he took a llama and put it in a box. He closed the box and spinned it around. He opened up the box. There's no llama! And you don't see that every day, there's a llama here, llama gone. Llama, no llama. Just chills you to the bones.
Lewis Bartholomew: I was wrong about you, Mrs. Lambert. Meeting the widow of a man like Lake, well, I was expecting a siren, a harpy, a shrew. But you, you have decency, dignity, what my father called gumption.
Regina Lambert: I'm very touched. You are actually quite sweet for a stars and bars company man, aren't you?
Lewis Bartholomew: You've discovered my secret side Mrs. Lambert. Keep it under your hat. Boo.
Rosa Louise McCauley Parks: Why do you always push us around?
Thomas Fowler: I have never thought of myself as a correspondent, just a reporter. I offer no point of view, I take no action, I don't get involved. I just report what I see.
Alden Pyle: But you must have an opinion.
Thomas Fowler: Even an opinion is a form of action.
Mathayus: I've come for the woman... and your head.
Ecks: Where did you get all this ordnance?
Sever: Some women buy shoes.
Kelly Gibbs: Have I told you lately how much I respect and admire you?
Zak Gibbs: Buy a car? Give money to Satan? Oh.
Bagel Guy: Yeah. Fire in the hole.
Jim Byrd: You're 32 years old, and you've achieved nothing. Jesus Christ was dead and alive again by 33. You better get crackin'.
Gerald: Do these belts come in any other color?
Bridget: Black or pink?
Gerald: Uh, we'll take black.