Euripides: Yeah, yeah, I'm lickin' your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you've got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don't care. You just got big balls.
Cole Parker: I want you to press the ignition button. You got me?
Dani Servigo: Ignition?
Cole Parker: Ignition. Yeah. Shit. He can't read. I tell you what you do. Hold up that first finger. Tell me what you see.
Dani Servigo: A finger.
Cole Parker: No, it looks like an "I." That's the first letter in "ignition."
Larry Wilson: I was not the one who was out CONGA-DANCING all night, huh.
Johnny: You may not know this, Missy, but I ate Chuck for YOU.
Missy's Friend: God, my boyfriend won't even pump gas for me.
Gene Loomis: Y'know, it's hard to believe you're a grown-up.
Ruth Corday: No kidding.
Lawrence Woolsey: You think grown-ups have it all figured out? That's just a hustle, kid. Grown-ups are making it up as they go along, just like you. You remember that, and you'll do fine.
Harrison Winslow: Who came up with this ridiculous concept anyway? Resolve your entire life in one bold stroke? What if I fail? And I will. I'll fail. I'm telling you. I always fail. Then my whole life will be a complete failure.
Thomas Reilly: No offense, Harrison. But you died a failure because you never tried.
Hal Jackson: Do you mind if I smoke in here?
Sarah Mathews: Yes, I do mind.
Zora: Ma, this is his office.
Sarah Mathews: I don't care, this is my lungs, he can get himself killed.
Bob Alexander: I'm going to kill him.
Alan Reed: You can't kill a President.
Bob Alexander: He's not a President. He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person.
Alan Reed: Bob.
Bob Alexander: I can kill a hundred ordinary people.
Eddie: What am I, a fucking retard, man? Am I A fucking retard, HUH? I know what this is! Lou's trying to snuff me out because of his greasy little nephew being around! well, vive LA fucking france, MAN.
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: Where are you from?
Jane Blue: North Adams, Massachusetts. Why?
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: Just asking.
Gina Garrett: So when are we inviting them over for drinks?
Chris Lecce: Uh, Bill.
Bill Reimers: Yes, Chris?
Chris Lecce: Did I just hear you ask me to invite the neighbors over for drinks? The very people we are here to stake out?
Bill Reimers: Why, no Chris, I'd never think of such a thing.
Chris Lecce: Good to know Bill.
Giddy: ...did you know it could be dangerous to wake somebody up when they're dreaming, well, because you leave part of your brain behind. And if it happens too many times, you go feeble in the head.
Sheela: Yeah. You're living proof.