Kate: I like being depressed. It makes me feel deep and introspective.
Bennett: I once heard someone say: "When you dim your light, so that someone else can shine, the whole world gets darker."
Dot: The guys paid a dollars apiece to find out if you're single.
Lydia Callahan: Tell the guys I have five husbands, each one rich, mean and jealous. I'll be rotatin' them through on a weekly basis.
Dot: That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
Lydia Callahan: Oh, just tell 'em I own a rifle.
Pam Byrnes: You never told me about your cat milking days in Motown.
Lily, Burnetts Grand Daughter: Magic Railroad?
Mr. C. Junior: Whatever.
Charlie: I'm asking for an example of one of these dumb fucks being a dumb fuck.
Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.
Monica Jones: Melons are like boyfriends. Shall I tell you why? To get a single good one you must one hundred try.
Sean Dawkins: Hey Gordy?
Gordie Boggs: Yea?
Sean Dawkins: Why does it look like you have your finger in your butt?
Gordie Boggs: Because I do... stupid.
Noah: There you are again with those books! What is that?
Paul Tannek: Studying?
Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?