Sammo

Yikes! What's the worst sin for a comedy, if not the fact that it's not funny? Actually, and that's why this is not a 1-star rating, the worst sin for a comedy is to make you want to kill the main characters with fire, and I know quite a few who do that! "Not being obnoxious" is what this late Blake Edwards flick has going for it. Ted Danson is a charming lead and Howie Mandel is...well, as close to tolerable as a manchild sidekick who does shrill voices can get.

Sadly the movie is messy but has little in the finesse department: most of the comedy here is physical and juvenile, with rather intolerable camera mugging cartoonish villains. Luckily at least one of them goes offscreen for the final act, and the movie can breathe a bit, giving space to some very classical (you could see it as a stage play, with all the 'wrong doors, character exits, another one enters' sort of play) sort of comedy antics plus a surreal bit with a conversation through the front door during a shootout. Most of the material is trite, mostly a novelty for the 80s kitsch and decent, if monotone, performances (except, again, the two henchmen who take way too much screentime).

Sammo ★

The first Alex Cross movie had its flaws, especially in the way the plot itself was devised, with a villain coming kinda off left field. This movie does at least something to fix that, since the fundamental dynamic between killer and detective is a much more compelling game, and a multifaceted one with a twist some may have seen coming (I did), but that is not too telegraphed. The actors do a solid job in this: while it is somewhat fun to see discount Julia Roberts and discount Anthony Hopkins both in the same movie, Monica Potter does a very competent job and truly showed promise in a career that never reached stardom level. Morgan Freeman again brings much needed charisma and acting skills to the table, and in this movie they are badly needed: in the first movie, he had to look like a clever, insightful but deeply humane investigator and family man at the center of an underdeveloped story with high personal stakes. In this one, he has to try and add drama and suspense to right clicking on a mouse and stare at a screen.

The fatal flaw this movie has, in fact, which makes me rank it lower than its predecessor, is that it aged obscenely poorly with its hammy handling of 'compyutors' and their magic: it's a big budget Hollywood movie who ends up with a Z-flick feel to it. Anything with the word "cyberspace" uttered in non-ironic fashion needs a downvote! While very rarely my appreciation of a movie is influenced by 'mistakes' and such, this is one of those movies that really ticked me off. Absurdities and obvious oversights in the construction of the plot timeline abund, in a flick that already is pretty short on real action and thrill and that should at least try to keep its own story tight. I would have gladly seen more movies with Morgan Freeman as Alex Cross, as he really does a lot to make the character relatable and more. It never happened, it will never happen, it is a shame, but this movie, which again has good performances, was doomed by its script.

Sammo ★

"Kiss the girls" feels like a conventional thriller, but the magnetism, if not the performance itself, by Morgan Freeman manages to prevent it to completely fall apart, with enough credibility to spare to spark some interest for a sequel/franchise. I am not familiar with the original novel, but they tend to be thoroughly disregarded in their cinematic adaptation, so I am just going by what transpires here. The plot is quite frankly, uninteresting, forced and formulaic. As a mystery gives no real clue about the culprit's identity and plenty reasons to contradict it, complete with utter cheating (such as showing him in the crowd when he couldn't be, and use a different voice actor). The only part to salvage might be the premise of the victim who escapes and gets (in unlikely and underdeveloped way) past her PTS to help capture 'him'. Photography is pretty solid, direction is uninspired and with several blunders. Performances are solid, and it is definitely watchable.

The best part about this movie is that it's not its sequel.

Sammo ★

I've tried to walk into this movie with no prejudices. If you read this review years later, no memory will probably be left of the 'controversy' surrounding it, and that like a lot of internet-based controversies did not tip the balance a single bit, with the movie being a smashing box office hit. So, the movie starts off with a well done if a bit generic sci-fi setting, and then delves into Earth, 1995. Nostalgia factor, yay. Chemistry between Brie Larson and Sam Jackson is palpable, and the special effect used to 'rejuvenate' the old man have been pretty much a great success. The movie visually is good (again, even if feeling a bit uninspired in design) and in true Marvel style it keeps a levity all across the spectrum that makes it an easy watch.

Two things were a bit of a problem to me: the first is integral to the whole MCU especially as of late, and that's the forced humor. It really feels like they have to shoehorn in some joke every few 'action' and 'character' moments, to get a bit of a giggle that releases good endorphines to the audience. I really could have done without the "growling back at the Skrull" bit or "Your A$$" moment, and others that luckily were not bad enough to be cringy.

But the biggest 'joke' that makes me honestly puzzled about the movie and the new frontiers of storytelling, brings me to my second point. So, the main character here starts more powerful than any other Kree. She does not understand why she should learn to fight without relying on her power, and in fact 'cheats' using it during her sparring. In fact, at the end of the movie, the mere concept of a 'fair fight' is ridiculed as the pathetically outgunned former mentor uses it to try to bring the newly aware Carol down to his level, and gets blasted away like the pathetic wimp he is.
The traditional moral compass is here as the instrument of those who were deceiving Carol and keeping her down. To their own level. But Carol is secretly better than them. And so Carol in the climax goes on what's well, a murderous rampage, destroying singlehandedly to pop tunes the whole army and fleet (filled with Kree men and women, but they are movie Nazi-like pawns after all), complete with jubilant screams. In other words, the most testosterone-filled display of power imaginable. It's funny, because by any conventional rule of storytelling, Carol's arc would eventually be one of a villain, someone who uses an absolute crushing power with exhilaration and no boundaries.

However, and here I do have to address something that goes beyond the pure filmic content, I have seen and spoken with a great number of women who really were thrilled and inspired by this movie. Exactly because of its message I don't quite understand. Exactly because sometimes we just need a big show of power even with questionable morals at its foundation. So, well, no mansplaining on my part on why women should not enjoy what is so frigging awesome (I really ....do not qualify!). I kept the ranking relatively low due to my fundamental disengagement from the character towards the end and several other minor qualms I have with the writing in general, but overall very watchable as an action flick, with an old style hero of crushing strenght and overwhelming power that you can see in an unironic way these days only as female empowerement character. For some reason.

Sammo ★

This movie is such a lot of fun. It's too bad that it was a box office bomb and there were no more parts of the franchise until the remakes, but I can also see why. One of the lines of the movie sorta sums it up, as Shaft says he's no James Bond, but Sam Spade. This movie sorta pushes Shaft in unfamiliar territory, out of the urban scenario and in international crimefighting in exotic locations. But does it with a very unique style, and plenty of edgy silliness.

There are many things to love about this movie and that distinctly surprised me. In fact I am sure that this movie got BETTER with age and we can enjoy it much better now, some 35 years after it was made. I have plenty reasons to say that! Some, the majority, I am going to list in a facetious way: Shaft applies a mean RNC better than most UFC stars, and Shaft did a John Wick rage vendetta 40 years early! Shaft also battles the Mafia (come on, the villain is called Amafi, it's just a one letter scramble!), but it's French based and with Sardinian assassins instead of the usual Sicilians. That's totally new! I love how this movie can be so original!
But jokes aside, the theme at its core that makes me say this movie aged well, dealing with exploitation of the dreams of many young people from poor areas of the world, by true criminal cartels, is absolutely fresh and relevant in every bit. In fact one of the dominant themes in the public discourse.

It's one of my favourite action movies, and I am trying not to rank it impossibly high. It is a movie quite poorly shot and with more misses than hits in the writing department when it comes to pure quips. The direction is far from great and it has all the "so bad it's good" cliches. At the same time, it features a plethora of interesting minor characters and pretty nice performances, locations and looks. The highlights of the supporting cast have to be Neda Arneric as the sex kitten Jazar (rather annoying as she is, the edgy humor and her natural beautiful looks end up being memorable and tickle the palate of the modern audience) and Jacques Herlin in the very small role of the well dressed, suave French man who so kindly lets the boys stay for half their stipend in crowded crusty rooms and procures them their daily jobs. Very well written and a great performance.

Sammo ★

The quintessential stuntman wet dream is back! A solid third installment of the saga, featuring action that does not disappoint, with Wick horsing around (literally) in fun and creative ways, and no jumpcats, showing the wonders that can be brought upon the big screen with some old style (but all modern dynamicity) action coreography. It probably should have been the final point of the saga, considering the magnitude of the challenge initially presented to the main character, and the full circle it would have brought to the story. Certainly a much better "third episode" than most, with a solid support cast and each action scene bringing interesting new dynamics.

Sammo ★

The first fight game for Neo Geo has never been a smooth one to play for me, Fatal Fury has the great merit to kickstart a couple of my most beloved franchises. SF2 came out a few months before this and murders this one from a playability standpoint, but as a terrible player and a passionate fan of story modes in videogames, I couldn't help by enjoy a lot the formula chosen - even if just 3 playable character is really poor. About half of the cast is iconic (the only real dud being the Balrog clone, Michael Max), and the story while simple was moving in the right direction, it just needed to be expanded. It has to be treated and judged as the seminal work it was. Developed independently by one of the creators of the original Street Fighter, it's just like the original SF was: a very underwhelming, and poorly aged grandfather of a great franchise.

Sammo ★

Suprisingly enjoyable, this movie is certainly not where you'd expect the two most iconic action stars of the end of the past century to meet, but, ta-daaa! Here they are, in a prison escape movie. There's nothing particularly clever about this movie, it is in fact kinda hilarious how after all the buildup and shenanigans who attempt at creating a well crafted puzzle, all the big plan ends up being "stage a riot and punch your way through the guards." But it works! And let me tell you, it works mostly because Stallone and Schwarzenneger have such a commanding presence. They are totally hamming it up with the acting, with a delivery so fake and bombastic that you can tell they are pausing for the crowd to cheer and clamor. It's a total guilty pleasure of a movie, with two senior citizens having a lot of fun with their big persona. Nothing more than that, but thankfully nothing gets in the way of that with annoying characters or performances. Underwhelming for once Vincent D'Onofrio, very well played and likeable Amy Ryan, just take the movie for what it is, and enjoy it.

Sammo ★

This movie is like... Home Alone, but in a mall. And meant to be taken seriously.

Banderas is actually a really good and likeable lead in this: you can buy 100% the 'war veteran' angle. The script gives him zero conflict or challenge linked to his PTSD or other demons, but he looks absolutely great and the whole suffer and struggle can be seen in his look and quiet no-nonsense demeanor. There's of course the whole kid angle with him projecting the feelings he has for his daughter...but the actress here is so abysmal that nearly tanks that aspect completely.

A movie where nothing really makes sense, poorly written and with terrible character arcs - it is saved though by a great Banderas and a likeable Liam McIntyre - they did a pretty smart choice at not making any of the characters an asshat, flawed yes, but not unsympathetic. It's a shame that Ben Kingsley and Cung Lee are given so little to do and so uninspired: without good villains a movie like this is bound to fail.

Sammo ★

What a charming movie. I can fully understand why Bogart would win an Oscar for his perfomance here, because while he surely chews scenery, he does it with great flair and a rugged charme that works wonders with the exotic location. The movie has surely a fair dose of surprises and stays fresh even today, with of course some caveats. Katherine Hepburn is a wonderful performer, portraying to perfection the uptight Englishwoman and turning into a believable heroine - within the boundaries of not quite being an 'action' star - also thanks to a frankly hilarious character twist that has her discover a thrillseeking side of her that she keeps rocking till the end of the movie.

Visually the movie is very good, with all the limitations of the time: get your hands on a digitally restored copy, because the effects are pretty corny in spots - still an acceptable green screen from the 50s, really we've seen much worse even in this century - but they did the best (without a proper master, even) to correct many flaws you will find in older copies. A movie made for the two actors, with very limited other roles, but all you need is seeing Hepburn and Bogart in a boat, clashing personalities on a mission in the splendid, perilious (this movie has been plagued by several real life problems!) Africa.

Sammo ★

Ouff. Jim Jarmusch movies have always had a certain allure with the quirkiness of characters, and their particular deliberate pace and fragmented structure. Perhaps I have heard too much hype about this flick, which is and feels by all means a dead-on-arrival satyre of the genre. Everything about this movie is a reanimated corpse, with enviromentalist and political themes that Romero made great here spelled in the most in-your-face obvious manner, a mysanthropic discourse spelled out by Tom Waits at the end that is jarring in the way it is handled. Attempts at comedy here feel stilted and even fastidious, prime example the 4th wall breach by Adam Driver. I truly couldn't stand Bill Murray billmurraying through the movie here, looking more than apathetic, but more like about to crack in a sardonic "Are we really doing this **** and getting paid for this?" cackle.

This is not a parody of a zombie movie, but rather Jim Jarmusch pranking the general audience into watching a Jim Jarmusch movie (a much worse one than Broken Flowers, Only lovers left alive, Ghost Dog, etc).

Sammo ★

This version of Fatal Attraction with a rather unbelievable manchild (the usual guy in his mid-twenties playing a high-schooler) features a first act that tries really hard to make you sympathize with the main character. Unfortunately, J-Lo in the role of a poor idealistic underdog who has to spend her nights alone and unloved works just as you could imagine, and worse. Someone this beautiful is always a hard sell in that role when production doesn't do anything to tone down her allure dressing her down or at least not making her live a life well above the means of the profession she is supposed to play. What makes her utterly unlikeable though, is the way her character was written, from the first act, where her lines are full of cringe. When they try to make her look intellectual talking Homer or defending the value of studying classics because J.K.Rowling made a lot of money, they only manage to make her sound almost more stupid than the cardboard cutout caricatures of men she meets, like the dude who'd berate her job for no reason.

The usual train wreck of bad character choices has some fun value, especially when the disturbed twentynager really cranks up the crazy, which was already plain to see from the first moment, almost - at least how it'd lead to a completely inappropriate situation. At the same time, the son character is just painful to watch, and the only marginally decent characters are the Kristin Chenoweth (here looking a bit like like 99 cent version of Cameron Diaz, or perhaps Cameron Diaz's mom) as the spirited friend and the melon headed John Corbett as a solid good guy who despite his flaws is all right.

Watch if for some laughs, but they are not aplenty, and the moral compass and tone are all over the place (after all, stalking is a heavy theme and a couple moments are midly disturbing to watch). The most memorable part of the movie is probably Jennifer Lopez's shrill scream when she finds a body in a room: it kinda reaches Howard Dean levels of epicness.

Sammo ★

Generally recognized as the initiator of the Blaxpoitaton genre, without a doubt one of the best, this movie has tremendous energy and pizzaz. While certainly a product of its social context and unmistakibly 70s in the aesthetics, it is fascinating in its quirks and it aged pretty decently - even if the direction has a lot of sloppiness in the action sequences and continuity. The pace is ridicolously fast without feeling forced, and it has a theatrical flair to it that is surprising (a few key moments who could end up in tragedy are defused by histrionic antics, and the final climax happens on stage with a truly impressive and even poignant 'self destructive' twist) and trascends the narrow context of 70s Harlem. All the black secondary characters are really good and manage to deliver noteworthy perfomances (with a fun Redd Foxx little appearance that is bound to make you think of Fred Sanford), and the leads just ooze charisma. I am overrating this movie: after all it is fairly exploitative and crass (lots of T&A, chicken and watermelon to the blacks, even "your momma" jokes and a pie to the face moment!) and just cringey for some amateur moments in editing, but it's an historically significant movie, and it's just bound to make you smile. Memorable and fun.

Sammo ★

Chris Hemsworth looks like a great guy: handsome as he is, he has an innate charme and gives you the feeling that he could really be a fun dude to have a beer with or something. That being said, he has much better acting range than the "hunky good guy who is a bit of an airhead" that is now his go-to persona in every movie. Here, him bumbling throughout the movie does not quite work, and manages to be overshadowed in annoyance perhaps just by Tessa Thompson's positively awkward character - if it was an attempt to write a 'strong female character', it should be cited as a negative example. Probably the poor script is to blame here for the lack of on-screen chemistry between the two: the movie after all can boast probably the most phoned-in plot twists of the year. I was not particularly bothered by the special effects not being top of the notch, I personally found them serviceable: it's just the story that does not quite hold up. Not a putrid movie and actually not badly paced, with enough mindless action to be not devoid of entertainment, but definitely deserving the underwhelmed-to-hostile reaction it got, especially as part of a franchise.

Sammo ★

This movie looks just beautiful. On paper it is not exactly the most original take on the cyberpunk genre, but what we get here is crisp looking, fantastically detailed and with enough flair and ingenuity to genuinely give some sense of wonder. From a storyline perspective, it's sadly quite thin and commits the cardinal sin of not giving the story a truly satisfying conclusion. You'll be hard pressed to find a movie that rushes through the third act challenges more than this one does, giving the main character basically no challenge and one-shotting (one-slicing...) the 'final bosses', just to build up a sequel that is not likely to ever have. The main character is quite likeable and sympathetic (once you get over the freaky weirdness of her anime eyes...which happens quite flawlessly, another testament to the visual department), even if the script is cringey to the max in many instances (the heart scene, the xxvi century John Wick scene). Christoph Waltz is a fantastic father figure, but other than that the secondary characters are cardboard cutouts and quite poorly written, with dishonorable mention for the love interest, which though is probably just designed to be like that, some insipid adolescent love. I rank it 3 stars because it truly is one of the best looking sci-fi movies in recent years and it manages to bring sense of wonder that walks you through the formulaic but not unpleasant story and the movie is never boring, being a solid action flick. However, be very aware that you might feel cheated at the end.

Sammo ★

Usually movies accused of being all style over substance tend to make their plot fairly impalpable or convoluted, and not resolve their main story, provided they have one. A Cure for Wellness instead handles its plot with all the subtlety (or lack thereof) of pure schlock horror, with a twist you can see coming from the very moment certain characters are introduced, and the obligatory ominous story is told. Yet the movie is not content with that, and culminates with a grandiose crescendo that would normally be treated as the cathartic ending of a vintage horror. And yet, said ending comes across as the most deeply unsatisfying part of the experience.

My personal answer as to why, lies exactly in how this type of ending wraps the 'wrong' part of the plot, the one that the audience could (and did for sure) figure out literally hours before the movie does so (the movie runs really long). The protagonist has done nothing but walk through exposition throughout the movie: all the diversions and creative spooky situations the movie presented earlier, where Verbinski's masterful cinematography shone, are the ones left unresolved. I am sure you can nitpick as 'hallucinations' and 'eel induced visions' every single unexplained event and connection in the movie, but combining exposition (of already phoned-in plot points) with mystery and artsy does not produce a compelling result. It's even more frustrating when you consider the brilliance of subtle symbolism through sheer visuals, the kind of hint that does not call for any explaining.
Instead, every close relation with the protagonist and his past and his personal life and evolution as character get dropped about halfway through, leaving us just with a wonderfully shot gothic horror with a Z-grade script. Shame! Give this movie 5 stars if you are just going to analyze it shot-by-shot, or add 1 star if you stop watching at the bench scene. It would have been a better ending, and you'd have gotten all the relevant plot elements anyway.

Sammo ★

This is...a really odd adaptation of a TV show. It's definitely not a homage? God no. I doubt you can call something that turns the original characters into a literal wanker and a derelict cuck who can't even walk on a rainy day, a "homage." Is it a parody? 40 years too late, and with no attempt at all to capture unique aspects of the show? The movie does a better job than most at establishing characters and make them somewhat likeable, in particular Jon Baker, but it's better appreciated if you were not a fan of the show at all. The humor is more miss than hit, irritating with the juvenile jokes going for 'shock' value, and the script is all over the place, with Vincent D'Onofrio utterly wasted but bringing the only memorable shade of a support character. Not a movie to avoid like the plague as Dax Shepard did a solid job directing and starring (if you can get into his underdog character, zany as he is, the movie won't lose you along the way) and you may be fascinated by finding out how many possible ways to spit on an old franchise one could cram into a single movie, but not a pretty, or funny, movie by any mean.

Sammo ★

An all-time classic, with the most impressive incarnation of the Belgian detective. If anything, because of the 25 years long commitment of the lead actor to his character, covering the entirety of the original stories and novels. There will be still many more versions of Poirot in movies and other media, each with a different take, but Suchet's work truly brought life to an icon most often identified just by his quirks and peculiar image, sort of a comic-relief magic gnome who solves inexplicable riddles. This is not what you get here, especially in the long run. Aging together with his character, Suchet (also executive producer in the latter stages of the series) brought gravitas and depth to this interpretation of Poirot, also thanks to a staggering amount of personal research, including some who may not resonate with everyone (such as Poirot's faith), but come from a respectful and thorough study of the source material. The scripts are solid dramatizations, and the direction is for the most part competent and hardly groundbreaking, but it will live on as a memorable act of love towards a literary creation.

Sammo ★

This movie, while formulaic in many of its elements, would have deserved to reap better rewards for its ambition. Funnily enough, the CGI inhuman actors are by far the more intense, expressive and relatable part of the cast and the rendition of the orc society and conflicts is the most compelling part of the movie. Anything 'human' in this movie, from the non-stellar acting to the very generic videogame-like aesthetics of barely sketched locations, bland characters and laughable weaponry (truthful to the source material, I understand, but still awfully generic, oversized, 'fake') is underwhelming by comparison. The plot obviously aimed at setting up something larger, and the movie feels unfinished. Still well worth a watch, unless you are a fan of the videogame saga and lore: in that case you are probably going to feel disappointed by the potential squandered.

Sammo ★

A masterpiece, obviously! Oh not really: in fact this is the kind of movie you have to watch with friends who are in B-movie mood, or you are bound to cringe at plenty attempts of odd situational HK humor (watching it with my significant other was a cringefest!). It has a lot of unique charme though, from the unusual Barcelona setting to the treat of seeing the Three Brothers Chan, Hung, Biao in top form and with memorable characters. The final fight with Benny "The Jet" Urquidez is rightfully praised as one of the best and aged well, as all fight coreography from Sammo is, including fencing. If you can, get a hold of a version with Keith Morrison's soundtrack - the original score is too chill and takes away a lot of 'punch' this movie has aplenty.

Sammo ★