Madeleine: Do you know that they do to soft, bald, overweight Republicans in prison, Ernest?
Helen: She was a homebreaker. She was a man-eater. And she was a bad actress.
Madeline Ashton: Ernest... my ass! I can see MY ASS.
Ernest Menville: Where did you put my wife?
Second Doctor: She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
Ernest Menville: The morgue? She'll be furious.
Lisle: We are creatures of the spring, you and I.
Helen: Oh ok! Well if she's not dead, you tell her to come down here, come right up to me and kiss me on the.
Madeline: Kiss you on the what?
Helen: Mad?
Madeline: Hel.
Madeleine: You're dressed. Special occasion?
Helen: I will not speak to you 'til you put your head on straight.
Lisle: Drink that potion, and you'll never grow even one day older. Don't drink it, and continue to watch yourself rot.
Helen Sharp: On guard, bitch.
Madeleine: Oh, it's you.
Ernest: Fine, dear, thank you, like a rock.
Helen: You have no talent for poverty.
Ernest: You're sitting there, you're talking to me, but you're dead.
Madeleine: Could you just not breathe?
Helen: You can't raise an eyebrow without major surgery.
Ernest: Well, from now on, I'm going to be the kind of idiot I want to be.
Madeline Ashton: Ernest! You pushed me down the stairs.
Lisle: You are like Don Quixote, tilting at Nature's windmills.
Lisle Von Rhuman: This is life's ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay.
Helen: I want you to know something. I have never blamed you for leaving me. I always knew it was her. She's a woman. A woman, Ernest. From Newark, for God's sake.
Answer: Ernest painted Madeline's eyes before she came down the stairs. He even notes that the balance in her eyes were messed up.