Capitaine Phillippe D'Arnot: This is not the world John. Just the edge of it.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: I actually threw the score on the fire, he made me so angry.
Antonio Salieri: You burned the score?
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: No, no. My wife took it out in time.
Tiny Tim: God bless us, everyone.
Jason Carter: Pa, there is something you could do.
John Carter: Name it.
Jason Carter: Well, I'd sure like it if you and Ma could make a younger child. Then it wouldn't be so bad if I have someone to pick on.
John Carter: Well Son, I'm gonna have to talk to your Ma about that.
Frank: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, we are the entertainment for this afternoon. Now on the shotgun we've got my man Leroy. And on the cash register, we've got that magic fingers Rico.
Rico: That's me.
Frank: And last but not least, yours truely, Frank, on the stick.
Stan Gable: Times are changing, Betty. These nerds are a threat to our way of life.
Betty Childs: If they win the Homecoming Carnival, they'll be able to take over the Greek Council.
Stan Gable: Yeah. And we'll be up to our asses in nerd shit.
Squirrel Murphy: Now that's a girl I could take advantage of.
Lucy Lane: All you need is a couple of streaks and your ears pierced. I could do it for you, it's easy. You just get a needle, heat it up, dab it with some alcohol, and zap! The guys go crazy.
Linda Lee: My ears what?
Lucy Lane: Pierced. Like and you know, I take a needle, and then I heat it up, dab it with some alcohol and, zap, all the guys go crazy.
Linda Lee: Because I have holes in my ears?
Lucy Lane: What, are you putting me on? Sometimes I can't figure you out, Linda.
Victor Frankenstein: People are weird.
Seaman John Adams: Any fool can steer a ship, sir. It's just knowing where to take it.
Warren Evans: I don't like to take naps. I don't like to wake up more than once a day. 'Cause when I first wake up I get that shock of who I am and everything. I... I really don't like to do that more than once a day.
Larry Hubbard: Ya.
Joe Wade: Sooner or later there's gonna be too much rain, or too much drought, or too much corn... I can wait.
Professor Godbhole: Nothing you do will change the outcome.
Richard Fielding: So "Do nothing!" Is that your philosophy?
Professor Godbhole: My philosophy is you can do what you like... but the outcome will be the same.
Captain Bosch: Are you kidding? Your guy's got a camera. Mine's got a flamethrower.
Samantha Belmont: So did you make it with him last night?
Regina Belmont: Who?
Samantha Belmont: The Good Humor man, who do you think?
Regina Belmont: Geez, is that what's bugging you?
Samantha Belmont: That's no answer, man.
Regina Belmont: No I didn't make it with him last night. Why are you so weirded out?
Samantha Belmont: Oh right Reg, why should I be weirded out? My sister, who swiped every guy I ever had my eye on, has now swiped the last guy in the whole freaked out world.
Sheena: See! See! Even in chains, we can defeat them! Turn your minds back, oh my people. Remember yourselves - a thousand, a thousand moons ago! Bring your bows! Chief Harumba - Attack.
Ozone: Girls are whack, man.
Radio announcer: President Ford, in his foreign policy speech, hardly referred to Cambodia... except to say that, as of now, it may be too late.
The Devil: I love to scare the hell out of people.
Basketball Player: Funny-lookin' motherfucker, but he can shoot, can't he?