Homer Simpson: Marge, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me." And there's only one answer when somebody says that.
Marge Simpson: OK Homie, I'm with ya.
Homer: Thank you my sweetheart.
Bart Simpson: Mom?
Marge: Yes honey?
Bart: You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertiliser salesman!
Martha McCandles: This is going to be a very harsh and unpleasant business, and will take an equally harsh and unpleasant person to see to it.
Red: There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.
Venom: You come in here again, in fact, you go anywhere in this city preying on innocent people and we will find you and eat both your arms and then both of your legs and then we will eat your face right off your head. Do you understand?
Robber: Please.
Venom: Yes. So, you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you? Rolling down the street, like a turd in the wind. Do you feel me?
Robber: What the hell are you?
[Venom's face partially opens to reveal Eddie's face]
Eddie/Venom: We...are Venom.
[Venom's face fully reforms]
Venom: On second thought.
Robber: Please.
[Venom kills the robber].
Louden Swain: But all I ever settled for is that we're born to live and then to die, and... we got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that's why we got to love those people who deserve it like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause when you get right down to it - there isn't.
Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Jimmy: Hey, Ted, where the hell is the corkscrew?
[Jason appears and shoves the corkscrew into Jimmy's hand]
Obi-Wan Kenobi: [To Anakin.] Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?
Sam Sweet: [911 call being played.] Oh my God! Oh my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something... There was this guy, he looked Asian... And he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian.
Ford Fairlane: 1969 Fender Stratocaster, original pick-ups, maple neck, strung upside down for a left-handed motherfucking genius, Jimi Hendrix.
Chad Danforth: Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box?
Troy Bolton: Who's Michael Crawford?
Chad Danforth: Exactly my point! He was the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Now, my mom, she's seen that musical 27 times and she put Michael Crawford's picture in our refrigerator. Not on it, in it. So, my point is if you play basketball, you're gonna end up on a cereal box. If you sing in musicals, you're gonna end up in my mom's refrigerator.
Troy Bolton: Why would she put his picture in her refrigerator?
Chad Danforth: One of her crazy diet ideas! Look, I don't have time to understand the female mind, Troy!
John Constantine: When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see. My parents were normal. They did what most people would do. They made it worse. You think you're crazy long enough, you find a way out.
Angela Dodson: You tried to kill yourself.
John Constantine: I didn't "try" anything.
Principal Mcgee: If you play an instrument, remember, it is better to play with a group then with yourself.
Sgt. Burton: There's a bullet out there for everyone. Their name's written real small on the side... and it's coming.
Mayor Hostetler: You know, women call men dogs. That's to suggest we're somehow untrustworthy or disloyal. But a dog is anything but. And if men are dogs, what the goddamn hell does that make women? You've ever seen a bitch in heat? She will grind herself across the grass to try and get her that itch. And she can find a way to sneak out of the backyard, as any dog will do.
Gen. Glen McMahon: God damn it, Pete. Why are you fat?
Rafe: Ma'am, I'm never gonna be an English teacher, but I know why I'm here, to be a pilot, and you don't dogfight with manuals, you don't fly with gauges, I mean it's all about feeling and speed and lettin' that plane become like it's a part of your body, and that manual says that a guy who's a slow reader can't be a good pilot... That file says I'm the *best* pilot in this room... Ma'am, please... Don't take my wings.
