Richie Vento: Yeah, get me Hollycourt 55377. Hello, it's Daddy. Hey, darling. Put Mommy on the phone. Yeah, Barbara, it's Richie. Yeah lookit, I ain't never coming home no more. Take it easy.
Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - forever.
Captain Ron: Hey! Uh, leg feels a lot better now, boss. I always been a fast healer, you know. 'Course I believe in Jesus, so that helps.
Amanda: You know, I was just thinking why would I ever leave before New Year's Eve? That makes no sense at all. I mean, you didn't exactly ask me out... but you did say you loved me... so I'm thinking I've got a date. If you'll have me.
Graham: I have the girls New Year's Eve.
Amanda: Sounds perfect.
Maura Ellis: I don't wear thongs. I have a very fussy taint.
Stoney: If you're edged 'cause I'm weazin all your grindage, just chill. 'Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin' at my pad, I'd go grind over there, so don't tax my gig so hard-core cruster.
Babs: I don't want to be a pie! I don't like gravy.
Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?
Ninny Threadgoode: Hey Evelyn, somebody stole my house.
Bethany: I don't want this, it's too big.
Metatron: That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have.
Hanson: Who's ready for a wing?
Dwight: Yours or the turkey's?
Hanson: Well, I know what you'd like. How about a leg?
Wyatt: By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
Gary: It's ceremonial.
[Later, after Wyatt talks to Chet, Wyatt begins to leave the kitchen and Chet sees him wearing women's underwear.]
Chet: Like your panties.
Wyatt: [walking back into kitchen] It's a joke, Chet. Really.
Chet: No. That is not a joke. That is a severe behavioral disorder. Next thing you know you'll be wearing a bra on your head.
Frank Pesce Jr.: I wanna do something I never did before.
Frank Pesce Sr.: Oh really, then why don't you go upstairs and clean your fucking room.
Harry Hart: Manners maketh man. Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson.
Frank Moses: Kordeski trained you?
William Cooper: Yeah?
Frank Moses: I trained Kordeski.
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
Seagulls: Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
Nigel: Oh would you just shut up? You're rats with wings.
DS Andy Wainwright: You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city.
DS Andy Cartwright: Everyone and their mums is packin' round here!
Nicholas Angel: Like who?
DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers.
Nicholas Angel: Who else?
DS Andy Cartwright: Farmers' mums.