Carrie Mae: The only magic I ever did was try to figure out how to stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.
Carrie Mae: Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to drop some timber.
Mona: You wanna get cut, bitch?
Shelley: My allergic reaction made me feel beautiful.
Shelley: The eyes are the nipples of the face.
Shelley: Manhole. I like that word. Manhole.
Shelley: Kindness is just love with its work boots on.
Oliver: You given any thought to who you might be voting for?
Shelley: I definitely won't listen to what Simon says, he is just so mean. I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.
Shelley: Oh, you meant the president.
Shelley: They're kicking me out?
Marvin: Maybe it's because of your age.
Shelley: But I'm 27.
Marvin: But that's 59 in Bunny Years.
Shelley: I don't think he likes me. He didn't fall for any of my tricks.
Natalie: That's impossible. Your tricks always work.
Shelley: I did sexy. I did other guys want me. I worked every angle in the book but, I don't know, he just stared.
Natalie: What if Oliver is one of those guys who wants to have, like, a conversation with a girl before he hooks up with her.
Shelley: He's gay?
Shelley: Instead of the Mahi-Mahi, can I get just the one Mahi, because I'm not that hungry?
Shelley: Good morning Pooter! You're looking dapper.
Natalie: Shelley knows how to meet guys, hence, we will learn how to meet guys.
Shelley: Yeah, hence.
Shelley: Sweet balls.
