Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking "Holy shit, holy shit! A swordfish almost went through my head"? If so, yes.
Maxwell Smart: I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded by a highly trained team of 130 black op snipers.
Siegfried: I don't believe you.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 2 dozen Delta Force commandos?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?
Siegfried: How do I know you're not Control?
Maxwell Smart: If I were Control, you'd already be dead.
Siegfried: If you were Control, you'd already be dead.
Maxwell Smart: Well neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from Control.
Shtarker: That actually makes sense.
Max: All I see is rats and poop. Oh, there's a rat riding on a piece of poop.
Agent 99: Shut up.
Agent 99: Be careful, these lasers will cut off anything they touch.
Maxwell Smart: Which is why wearing boxers was a bad idea.
Agent 99: Did you see anything while I was dancing?
Maxwell Smart: Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you that high.
Larabee: I'll do it sir, I have no problem exposing myself.
Agent 99: Do you ever think before you open your mouth?
Larabee: No, I tend to just whip it out there.
Agent 99: Max has no experience, and I don't want him as my partner.
Maxwell Smart: Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads.
Agent 99: Are you staring at my butt?
Maxwell Smart: No, no, I...I was, but I'm not...I'm staring again.
