Caine: For all the bullshit they try to teach you in high school, I graduated with about half of it. But then, I didn't go to school but half the time. The other half, I was out selling dope. Growing up out here, there was shit that couldn't be learned in no classroom.
Laura Jackson: What a stupid idiot.
Jed Clampett: Did you say something, ma'am?
Laura Jackson: What a stupendous intellect.
Jethro: That's cause I "grad-ge-ated" the sixth grade, ma'am. Only took three years.
Virgil: You're not dirty enough. You're not crazy enough.
Dan Saxon: I'm getting really fucking tired of hearing you say that.
Virgil: Yeah? Well being tired is a lot better than being dead, man.
Ying Ying: Losing him does not matter. It is you who will be found - and cherished.
Seitz: Sir, what about our friend Coontz?
Paul McDaggett: Well, if we'd let him live, we'd have to have paid him.
Roberto Canessa: We're gonna die, you know.
Nando: Maybe. But if we die, we're gonna die walking.
Cliff Murdoch: I just figured out why the Cubs lose every year. They've got more talent in the stands than they do in the field.
Euripides: Yeah, yeah, I'm lickin' your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you've got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don't care. You just got big balls.
Glenn: Let me get this straight, you snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to clean up graffiti? That's an amazing story.
Lieutenant Vincent Hardy: Do you know what my dad used to say? Loyalty before all else exept honor.
Gene Loomis: Y'know, it's hard to believe you're a grown-up.
Ruth Corday: No kidding.
Lawrence Woolsey: You think grown-ups have it all figured out? That's just a hustle, kid. Grown-ups are making it up as they go along, just like you. You remember that, and you'll do fine.
Claudio: Can the world buy such a jewel?
Benedick: Yea, and a case to put it into.
Country Store Clerk: What you doin' out this way?
Sam Gillen: Hunting.
Country Store Clerk: In a suit?.. What kinda huntin'?
Sam Gillen: Pink flamingos.
Suzanne: Have you ever been married?
Michael Williams: No.
Suzanne: It does strange things to people.
Giddy: ...did you know it could be dangerous to wake somebody up when they're dreaming, well, because you leave part of your brain behind. And if it happens too many times, you go feeble in the head.
Sheela: Yeah. You're living proof.
Louis Stevens: Can you turn that music... up?
John Connor: They say if you resort to violence, then you've already lost.