Louis Winthorpe III: He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.
Emma Horton: Some people say Des Moines is the best city in Iowa.
Harvey "Blind" Pew: It sounded as though there was a bit of a squabble.
Moon: Squabble? They're all dead.
Harvey "Blind" Pew: Oh! Must have been more of a tiff then.
Donald Quinelle: I'm sorry I'm gonna have to blow a large hole in your skivvy heart.
Dr. Frank Bryant: Found a culture, have you Rita? Found a better song to sing? No, you found a different song to sing, and on your lips it's shrill and hollow and tuneless.
Man in Bar: Come on, damnit, we wanna hear a cluck.
Stroker Ace: Who gives a cluck?
Clifford Skridlow: Nothing can destroy the Doctor.
Randy: That techno-rock you guys listen to is gutless.
Little Enos: I'd like to kick your ass.
Buford T. Justice: You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.
Countess Chandra: Darling?
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes, my darling?
Countess Chandra: You're smoking the wrong end.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes... I knew that. You don't have to tell me I am smoking zhe wrong end. Do you know why I am smoking zhe wrong end?
Countess Chandra: No darling, but I'm sure you've got a very good reason.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You're right! I am smoking on zhe wrong end, because I have a very good reason.
Joseph Rutter: If you're half the leader I think you are.
King Vidiot: I am half the leader you think I am!