Doctor Who

The Satan Pit (2) - S2-E12

Doctor: So, that's the trap. Or the test or the final judgment, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her. Except that implies, in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils, that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods - out of all that - out of that whole pantheon - if I believe in one thing... Just one thing... I believe in her.

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The Day of the Doctor - S7-E16

Eleventh Doctor: Gentlemen, we're ready. [Straightens bow-tie, throws lever on his TARDIS console.] Geronimo!
Tenth Doctor: [Theatrically throws lever on his TARDIS console.] Allons-y!
War Doctor: [Works controls on his TARDIS console, disgusted.] Oh, for God's sake! Gallifrey stands!

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The Day of the Doctor - S7-E16

Clara: Doctor, what's going on?
Eleventh Doctor: It's a... Uh... Timey wimey... Thing.
The Doctor: "Timey" what? "Timey wimey"?
Tenth Doctor: I... I have no idea where he picks that stuff up.

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The Hungry Earth (1) - S5-E8

Ambrose: [Talking about the church door.] I can't open it. It keeps sticking, the wood's warped.
The Doctor: Any time you want to help?
Rory Williams: Can't you sonic it?
The Doctor: It doesn't do wood.
Rory Williams: That is rubbish!
The Doctor: Oi! Don't diss the sonic!

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The Runaway Bride - S3-E14

The Doctor: I'm not... I'm not... I'm not from Mars!

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The Girl in the Fireplace - S2-E7

Doctor: I think we just found the hole. Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.
Mickey: What's that?
Doctor: No idea. Just made it up. Didn't wanna say 'magic door'.

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The Impossible Planet (1) - S2-E11

Doctor: Pfft... I'd have to settle down. In a house or something, a proper house with... With... With... With doors and things. Carpets! Me! Living in a house! Now that... That is terrifying.
Rose: You'd have to get a mortgage.
Doctor: No.
Rose: Oh yes.
Doctor: I am dying. That's it. I am dying, it is all over.

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Love & Monsters - S2-E13

Elton: But what I wanted to say is... You know, when you're a kid, they tell you it's all, grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid, and that's it. Ah. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder...And so much better.

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Rose - S1-E1

Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.
The Doctor: Yes, you are.
Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.
The Doctor: Yes, there is.
Jackie: Well, anything could happen.
The Doctor: Ah...no.

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The Doctor Dances (2) - S1-E10

[The Doctor, Capt. Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.]
The Doctor: Go to your room. Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! Go to your room! [The children lurch away.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

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The Girl in the Fireplace - S2-E7

The Doctor: Who are you?
King: I'm the King of France!
The Doctor: Yeah? Well, I'm the Lord of Time.

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Midnight - S4-E10

The Doctor: Oh, Doctor you're so handsome. Yes I am, thank you.

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Aliens of London (1) - S1-E4

The Doctor: Excuse me. Do you mind not farting while I'm trying to save the world?

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The Parting of the Ways (2) - S1-E13

Emperor Dalek: Explain yourself.
The Doctor: I said no.
Emperor Dalek: What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor: It means no!
Emperor Dalek: But she will be destroyed!
The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna rescue her! I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and then - just to finish you off - I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Emperor Dalek: But you have no weapons, no defences, no plan!
The Doctor: Yeah, and doesn't that scare you to death?

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Rose - S1-E1

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?
Rose: Rose.
The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!

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School Reunion - S2-E6

Doctor: You can spend the rest of your life with me. But I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.

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School Reunion - S2-E6

Sarah-Jane: I had no problem with space stuff. I saw things you wouldn't believe.
Rose: Try me.
Sarah-Jane: Mummies.
Rose: I've met ghosts.
Sarah-Jane: Robots. Lots of robots.
Rose: Slitheen. In Downing Street.
Sarah-Jane: Daleks!
Rose: Met the Emperor.
Sarah-Jane: Anti-Matter monsters.
Rose: Gas masked zombies.
Sarah-Jane: Real living dinosaurs!
Rose: Real living werewolf!
Sarah-Jane: The Loch Ness Monster!
Rose: Seriously?

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Rise of the Cybermen (1) - S2-E8

[Mickey has his finger on a button on the console.]
The Doctor: Um... What're you doing that for?
Mickey: 'Cause you told me to.
The Doctor: When was that?
Mickey: About half an hour ago.
The Doctor: Um. You can let go now.
Mickey: Well, how long's it been since I could've stopped?
The Doctor: Ten minutes? Twenty? ... Twenty-nine?
Mickey: You just forgot me!
The Doctor: No, no, no! I was just...I was just...I was calibrating. I was just...no, I know exactly what I'm doing.

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The Idiot's Lantern - S2-E10

Rose: Will it... That thing... Is it trapped for good? On video?
Doctor: Hope so. Just to be on the safe side though, I'll use my unrivaled knowledge of trans temporal extirpation methods to neutralise the residual electronic pattern.
Rose: You what?
Doctor: I'm going to tape over it.

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Fear Her - S2-E14

Doctor: Fear. Loneliness. They're the big ones, Rose. Some of the most terrible acts ever committed have been inspired by them. We're not dealing with something that wants to conquer or destroy. There's a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive... Wormhole refractors...You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.

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Rose - S1-E1

The Doctor: Think of it. Plastic, all over the world. Every artificial thing waiting to come alive. The shop-window dummies, the phones, the wires, the cables...
Rose: The breast implants.

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The Day of the Doctor - S7-E16

War Doctor: Anyone lose a fez?
Tenth Doctor: You! How can you be here? More to the point, why are you here?
War doctor: Good afternoon. I'm looking for the Doctor.
Tenth Doctor: Well, you've certainly come to the right place.
War Doctor: Good. Right. Who are you boys? Oh, of course, are you his companions?
Eleventh Doctor: His companions?!
War Doctor: They get younger all the time. Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor...
[Tenth Doctor raises his sonic, and then Eleventh Doctor raises his.]
War Doctor: Really?
Eleventh Doctor: Yeah.
Tenth Doctor: Really.
War Doctor: You're me? Both of you?
Tenth Doctor: Yup!
War Doctor: [nods disbelief toward the Eleventh Doctor, as he looks at Tenth Doctor.] Even that one?
Eleventh Doctor: Yes!
War Doctor: You're my future selves?
Tenth Doctor and Eleventh Doctor: [in unison.] YES!
War Doctor: Am I having a mid-life crisis?

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Oxygen - S10-E6

Ivan: Are you out of your mind?!
Doctor: Uh, yes, completely, but that's not a recent thing.

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Oxygen - S10-E6

Bill: Do people ever hit you?
Doctor: Well, only when I'm talking.

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The Pilot - S10-E2

Doctor: I'll tell you what, let's just pop into my box.
Bill: Your box? What good is getting in your box going to do?
Doctor: What an extraordinarily long and involved answer this is going to be.

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The Pilot - S10-E2

Bill: Look, I know you know lots of stuff about...well...basically everything, but do you know any sci-fi?
Doctor: Go on.

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Super Grover

Nardole: You're completely out of your mind!
Doctor: How is that news to anyone?

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Super Grover

The Day of the Doctor - S7-E16

War Doctor: There's still a billion billion Daleks up there attacking
Eleventh Doctor: Yeah there is, there is.
Tenth Doctor: But there's something those billion billion Daleks don't know
Eleventh Doctor: Because if they did they'd probably send for reinforcements
Clara: What? What don't they know?
Eleventh Doctor: This time there's three of us.

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Andrew Barber

Day of the Moon - S6-E3

River: What are you doing?
Doctor: Helping.
River: You have a screwdriver. Go build a cabinet!
Doctor: That's really rude.

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AdrianMC2002

The Day of the Doctor - S7-E16

Rose: Oh, look at you, stuck between a girl and a box. The story of your life, aye Doctor?

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The Day of the Doctor - S7-E16

War Doctor: Hello? Somebody there?
Rose Tyler: It's nothing. It's just a wolf.

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The Sontaran Stratagem (1) - S4-E4

Doctor: Name?
Skarl: General Skarl of the tenth Sontaran battle fleet. Skarl the undefeated!
Doctor: Oh that's no good, what if you get defeated? Skarl the not-quite-so-undefeated-any-more-but-never-mind?

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The Unquiet Dead - S1-E3

Rose: But, it's like...think about it, though. Christmas. 1860. Happens once. Just once, and it's gone. It's finished. It'll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone and a hundred thousand sunsets ago. No wonder you never stay still.

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Aliens of London (1) - S1-E4

The Doctor: I can't believe I'm here to see this! This is fantastic!
Rose: Did you know this was going to happen?
The Doctor: Nope!
Rose: Do you recognize the ship?
The Doctor: Nope!
Rose: Do you know why it crashed?
The Doctor: Nope!
Rose: Oh, I'm so glad I've got you.

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The Empty Child (1) - S1-E9

Rose: What's the emergency?
The Doctor: It's mauve.
Rose: Mauve?
The Doctor: The universally recognized colour for danger.
Rose: What happened to red?
The Doctor: That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings. All those red alerts, all that dancing.

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The Empty Child (1) - S1-E9

Rose: Okay... You have an invisible spaceship...
Captain Jack: Yeah...
Rose: Tethered up to Big Ben for some reason...
Captain Jack: First rule of active camouflage. Park somewhere you'll remember.

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The Parting of the Ways (2) - S1-E13

Doctor: Rose...Before I go, I just wanna tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And d'you know what? So was I.

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The Christmas Invasion - S2-E2

Doctor: See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I - I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob.

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The Christmas Invasion - S2-E2

Doctor: These human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than - no, hold on...Sorry, that's 'The Lion King'. But the point still stands. Leave them alone!

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New Earth - S2-E4

The Face of Boe: I have grown tired with the universe, Doctor, but you have taught me to look at it anew.
Doctor: There are legends you know, saying that you're millions of years old.
The Face of Boe: There are? That would be impossible.
Doctor: Wouldn't it just? I got the impression... There was something you wanted to tell me...
The Face of Boe: A great secret.
Doctor: So the legend says.
The Face of Boe: It can wait.
Doctor: Oh, does it have to?
The Face of Boe: We shall meet again, Doctor, for the third time... For the last time... And the truth shall be told. Until that day...
[He teleports himself away.]
Doctor: That is enigmatic. That...that is...that is textbook enigmatic.

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Tooth and Claw - S2-E5

Doctor: [in a Scottish accent.] Oh, I'm - I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this... This wee naked child over hill and over dale. In't that right, ya... Timorous beastie?
Rose: [in a bad Scottish accent.] Ooch, aye! I've been oot and aboot.
Doctor: No, don't do that.
Rose: Hoots mon!
Doctor: No, really don't. Really.

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Tooth and Claw - S2-E5

Queen Victoria: I rewarded you Sir Doctor. And now you are exiled from this empire, never to return. I don't know what you are, the two of you, or where you're from, but I know that you consort with stars – and magic – and think it fun. But your world is steeped in terror and blasphemy and death and I will not allow it! You will leave this shores and you will reflect, I hope, on how you managed to stray so far from all that is good. And how much longer you will survive this... Terrible life. Now leave my world. And never return.

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The Girl in the Fireplace - S2-E7

Rose: Are you okay?
Reinette: No. I'm very afraid. But you and I both know, don't we, Rose? The Doctor is worth the monsters.

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The Age of Steel (2) - S2-E9

Doctor: Mrs Moore, would you care to accompany me into the cooling tunnels?
Mrs Moore: How could I refuse an offer of cooling tunnels?

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The Age of Steel (2) - S2-E9

Lumic: What is your name?
Doctor: I'm the Doctor.
Lumic: A redundant title. Doctors need not exist. Cybermen never sicken.
Doctor: Yeah, but that's it! That's exactly the point! Oh, Lumic, you're a clever man...I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room. But everything you've invented, you did to fight your sickness. And that's brilliant. That is so human. But once you get rid of sickness and mortality, then what's there to strive for? Eh? The Cybermen won't advance. You'll just stop! You'll stay like this forever. A metal Earth with metal men and metal thoughts. Lacking the one thing that makes this planet so alive. People. Ordinary, stupid, brilliant people.

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The Impossible Planet (1) - S2-E11

Doctor: So, when it comes right down to it, why did you come here? Why did you do that? Why? I'll tell you why. Because it was there. Brilliant. Excuse me, ah, Zach, wasn't it?
Zach: That's me.
Doctor: Just stand there, 'cause I'm gonna hug you. Is that all right?
Zach: I s'pose so.
Doctor: Here we go. Coming in.
[He hugs Zach.]
Doctor: Ahh, human beings, you are amazing! Ha!
[He releases Zach.]
Doctor: Thank you.
Zach: Not at all.
Doctor: But apart from that, you're completely mad. You should pack your bags and get back in that ship and fly for your lives.

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Fear Her - S2-E14

Tom's Dad: What's your game?
Doctor: My... Um... Snakes and Ladders? Quite good at... Squash. Reasonable. I'm... Being facetious, aren't I? There's no call for it.

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Rose - S1-E1

Rose: Really though, Doctor, tell me, who are you?
The Doctor: Do you know, like we were saying, about the Earth revolving? It's like when you were a kid, the first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because it looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go... That's who I am. Now forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home.

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The Long Game - S1-E7

The Doctor: Time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guide book, you gotta throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double, and end up kissing complete strangers, or is that just me?

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Fear Her - S2-E14

Rose: [Seeing cat.] Oh! Aren't you a beautiful boy?
The Doctor: Thanks. I've been experimenting with back-combing...oh.
Rose: [Seeing him grimace.] What?
The Doctor: Nah, I'm not really a cat person. Once you've been threatened by one in a nun's wimple, it kind of takes the joy out of it.

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Fear Her - S2-E14

The Doctor: Nobody else in this entire galaxy has ever bothered to make edible ball bearings, genius!

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Fear Her - S2-E14

Kel: You just took a council axe from a council van, and now you're digging up a council road! I'm reporting you to the council! [Rose finds the Isolus pod.]
Rose: It went for the hottest thing in the street: your tar!
Kel: What is it?
Rose: It's a spaceship! Not a council spaceship, I'm afraid.

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Season 4 generally

Donna: He saves planets, rescues civilizatons, defeats terrible creatures. And runs a lot. Seriously, there's an AMAZING amount of running involved!

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Rose - S1-E1

The Doctor: [Perusing a British tabloid in Rose's flat.] Oh, that'll never work. He's gay and she's an alien.

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