House, M.D.
Movie Quote Quiz

Pilot - S1-E1

House: [to Cameron.] I hired you because you look good. It's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.

Occam's Razor - S1-E3

House: Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interests of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chit-chat later, I'm Dr. Gregory House. You can call me Greg. I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
House: This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board-certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I'm also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who's forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying you may see me reach for this. It's Vicodin - it's mine, you can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain-management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows - maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? [Everyone stares.] And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys? [Everyone raises their hands.] Well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind.

Kids - S1-E19

Dr. Wilson: My advice is much more subtle – stop being an ass. You always find some tiny little flaw to push people away.
House: Now it's people? I thought we were talking about fellowship applicants.
Dr. Wilson: You have a history of this.
House: Well, when I do decide to push you away, I hope's there's a small person kneeling behind you so you fall down and hurt your head.

Three Stories - S1-E21

House: I'll do the lecture for four hours off clinic.
Dr. Cuddy: Two. I know you'd rather spend a couple of hours listening to yourself than listening to patients.

Paternity - S1-E2

House: Another reason I don't like meeting patients. If they don't know what you look like, they can't yell at you.

Fidelity (aka: Truth or Consequences) - S1-E7

House: You told me you hadn't changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
Samantha: Lying?
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
Samantha: My husband?
House: Yeah, see, if you're going to repeat everything I say, this conversation's going to take twice as long.

DNR - S1-E9

Dr. Wilson: [To House.] Some doctors have the messiah complex – they need to save the world. You have a Rubik's complex – you need to solve the puzzle.

Histories - S1-E10

Chris: You're reading a comic book.
House: And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top. Oh, I'm sorry – I thought we were having a 'state the obvious' contest. I'm competitive by nature.

Histories - S1-E10

Dr. Wilson: You really don't need to know everything about everybody.
House: I don't need to watch The O.C., but it makes me happy.

Heavy - S1-E16

House: I'm thinking I can convince Vogler it'll be more cost-efficient to keep all of them.
Dr. Wilson: You should be able to pull that off. Most billionaires aren't very good with numbers.
House: It will be more cost-efficient once I grab Cameron's ass, call Forman a spade, and Chase...well, I'll grab his ass too.

Occam's Razor - S1-E3

Dr. Cuddy: [to House.] It's not going to work. You know why? Because this is fun. You think of something to make me miserable, I think of something to make you miserable. It's a game, and I'm going to win. Because I got a headstart - you're already miserable.

Poison - S1-E8

House: I assume "minimal at best" is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "no chance in hell"?
Dr. Chase: I'm Australian.
House: You put the Queen on your money. You're British.

Poison - S1-E8

Dr. Cuddy: [to House.] Her only sign of mental illness is she disagrees with you. Some would consider that a sign of sanity.

House, M.D. mistake picture

Kids - S1-E19

Factual error: When House is looking over his whiteboard of symptoms for the swimming patient, the symptom "Intercranial Hemorrhage" is shown on the board. However, this is an error. The correct term is "Intracranial Hemorrhage." Anything inside the head is referred to as "intra" not "inter." This is a common mistake for laypeople, however the highly trained and knowledgeable Dr. House should not have made that error. (00:31:25)

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Joy to the World - S5-E11

Trivia: This episode contains another reference to Sherlock Holmes. Wilson tells the (fictional) story of who had sent House a present. Wilson says it was one of House's first patients called Irena Adler. He then explains that House had feelings for the patient, but did not take it any further and therefore regards her as the 'woman who got away'. Irene Adler was an adversary who bettered Sherlock Holmes - the woman who got away. As it happens, the fist patient House treats in the pilot episode is called Rebecca Adler.

Jeff Walker

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Occam's Razor - S1-E3

Question: I apologize I guessed at the episode, it was the one which featured Brandon, the boy who had the pills mix up and had sex with his fiancée at the beginning. I'm a little confused as to the ending, what was the significance of the letters on the pills? Why did the two doctors make a big deal about it when Brandon told them about it? Why was House so pleased to find those two pills in the inventory? It seemed like a sudden end to me.

Answer: You have the right episode. The big deal at the end about the letters on the pills was to show that Brandon had the wrong pills all along. House was smiling because he was right.

MoonFaery

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