M*A*S*H
Movie Quote Quiz

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet - S1-E17

Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is that young men die. And rule number two is that doctors can't change rule number one.

Frank Burns: You disgust me!
Hawkeye: You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.

Fade Out, Fade In - S6-E1

Winchester: But, know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill, but can not break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.
Potter: I think he's getting the hang of this place.

Movie Nut

Chief Surgeon Who? - S1-E4

Gen. Barker: What are you doing?
Radar: Doing, sir?
Barker: D-O-I-N-G. Doing. What are you doing?
Radar: Uh, listening to you spell doing sir.
Barker: Doesn't Col. Blake mind you drinking his whiskey and smoking his cigars?
Radar: Oh, very much so, sir.
Barker: Then why are you doing it?
Radar: Well, I don't mind, and I figured as long as one of us was being reasonable.

Movie Nut

Radar: Sir, I was just crossing the compound when...
Frank Burns: I have no interest in the compound.
Klinger: He has no compound-interest.

Frank Burns: Courage is something you shouldn't be afraid to have.

Frank Burns: I wonder if I can say something useful?
Trapper: I often wonder that too, Frank.

Frank Burns: I'm taking this to a higher authority.
Trapper: Aw, Frank... You're not going to write your mother again.

PA System: Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800.

Radar: Sir, there's someone waiting to see you.
Henry Blake: I was born with someone waiting to see me.

Henry Blake: Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?
Radar: One of us has to.

Frank Burns: I love it here.
Col. Potter: Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one.

Frank Burns: Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy.
Margaret: We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many.
Frank Burns: I know, darling, and I love being both of us.

What's Up, Doc? - S6-E19

Dr. Winchester: My family has had problems with immigrants ever since we came to America.

Maj. Burns: You're losing half your apple sauce. Apples don't grow on trees, you know.

Officer of the Day - S3-E3

Hawkeye: I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got into this war, I had a very clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns.
Frank: Humpf!
Hawkeye: I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune...I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, Carry Me Back to Old Virginny. I'll even Hari Kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!

Movie Nut

I Hate a Mystery - S1-E10

Character mistake: When Henry is describing the fishing reel he bought for his girlfriend, he said, "with jeweled escarpment" actually it is a 'jeweled esCAPEment" not esCARPment. An escarpment is a long slope off a plateau. An escapement is a latch/release mechanism that you would find on a device like a fishing reel.

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That's Show Biz - S10-E1

Question: Talking with stripper Candy Doyle, Potter remarks that he still remembers how she used to spin her tassels and that he is reminded of this every time he sees a C 42 revving up. On the net I do find references to a C40A, a C47 and others, but no reference to an aircraft of the time called a C 42. What would he have been referring to?

Answer: The C-42 was a military variant of the Douglas DC-2. Very few C-42's were built, so it's questionable that Potter would specifically have seen that particular model, but, given his military background, it's not entirely unreasonable that he might use the military designation even when the aircraft in question is actually a civilian DC-2.

Tailkinker

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