Quotes from Diane Keaton movies and TV shows

Annie Hall: La-di-da, la-di-da, la la.

Alvy Singer: You're extremely sexy. Because you are polymorphously perverse.
Annie Hall: What does that mean?
Alvy Singer: You're exceptional in bed because you get pleasure in every part of your body when I touch it. Like when I touch your nose or stroke your teeth or your kneecaps, you certainly get excited.
Annie Hall: You know what? I like you, I really do.

Alvy Singer: What are you depressed about?
Annie Hall: I missed my therapy, I overslept.
Alvy Singer: How can you possibly oversleep?
Annie Hall: The alarm clock.
Alvy Singer: You know what a hostile gesture that is to me?

Annie Hall: You're what Grammy Hall would call a real Jew.
Alvy Singer: Oh. Thank you.

Annie Hall: Oh, you see an analyst?
Alvy Singer: Yeah, just for fifteen years.
Annie Hall: Fifteen years?
Alvy Singer: Yeah, I'm gonna give him one more year, and then I'm goin' to Lourdes.

Annie Hall: So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
Alvy Singer: Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.

Annie Hall: You're seeing an analyst?
Alvy Singer: Just for 15 years. I'm giving him one more year and then I'm going to Lourdes.

More Annie Hall quotes

J.C. Wiatt: I can't have a baby because I have a 12:30 lunch meeting.

Doctor Jeff Cooper: You know... you kind of remind me of a bull terrier of some kind.
J.C. Wiatt: Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.

J.C. Wiatt: ... And your sister's name in Wiesbaden - in case of an emergency - and her prison record if any..
Helga Von Haupt: Excuse me?
J.C. Wiatt: Uh, oh, silly! I mean her address if you have it.

J.C. Wiatt: If it wasn't for me, you'd be selling shirts at Barney's, you little pisher.

J.C. Wiatt: Now look. There is nothing in the world to get uptight about. We are two summa cum laudes. We can handle one little baby for eight hours.

More Baby Boom quotes

Daphne Wilder: God couldn't be everywhere so that is why he invented mothers.
Maggie: What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you.

Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you oughta button these buttons, you look like you're asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it.

More Because I Said So quotes

Sybil Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: Yes, those are mushrooms.
Patrick Thomas: Isn't Everett allergic to mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: He is?
Ben Stone: OK, what we got going on over here? Santa's workshop. Er... OK, wha-what can I do to be of service Meredith, wha-what can I do?
Meredith Morton: Oh, well... I think I'm all set. Everett had to run some errands in town, then he and Thad are going to meet Julie's bus.
Ben Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: I didn't know.

Sybil Stone: Christmas is not "clothing optional" this year - we have a guest.

More The Family Stone quotes

George: You look like you're enjoying seeing me in here.
Nina Banks: Enjoying? Do you think it's enjoyable to get a phone call telling you to come down to the police station because your husband's been arrested for stealing hot dog buns?

More Father of the Bride quotes

Nina Banks: Just because we're older doesn't mean we're old. This is the 90s.

Matty Banks: I'm, 4-foot 6, I don't shave, I don't have a job, and I'm gonna be an uncle. Is there something weird about that?
George Banks: Finally, someone who thinks like I do.
Nina Banks: Oh, yeah, a 12 year old.

More Father of the Bride Part II quotes

Bridget Cardigan: We'll think outside the box.
Don Cardigan: Well that's good because we're selling the box and moving into a smaller box.

More Mad Money quotes

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