Quotes from Simon Bird movies and TV shows

Click the title to view the complete list. Please add more!

Vet: I'm sorry but as a priest, we're only allowed to drink holy water.

Will McKenzie: Meanwhile, I was chasing a girl I had recently fingered to sleep.

Neil Sutherland: How long after a poo do you have to wait before you can have sex?
Will McKenzie: Please don't let this be my last thought.

Will McKenzie: So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world's shittest boyband, we hit the town.

Will McKenzie: I've lost my glasses!

Will McKenzie: That's it! Neil, you're right. It may not be paradise, but it's time we started enjoying this place for what it is.
Simon Cooper: A shithole?
Will McKenzie: Yes, but it's our shithole! So I say, we get out there, and get royally fucked up on Jay's dead grandad's money!

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.