Quotes from Aubrey Plaza movies and TV shows

Lenore: I like your pull out couch.
Dick Kelly: Yeah? Well, I got news for ya. That's the only thing that's gonna be pulling out tonight.

Dick Kelly: We have a long standing bet - who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger three wood.
Lenore: Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina.
Jason Kelly: Holy shit.

Lenore: You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa, and I'm just a girl from Long Island City who likes to fuck old people.

More Dirty Grandpa quotes

Ingrid Thorburn: Fuck me, Bruce. Gotham needs you.

Dan Pinto: Can we restart like a reboot?
Ingrid Thorburn: Yes, like a reboot.

Ingrid Thorburn: Talk about something cool, like food or clothes or Joan Didion.

More Ingrid Goes West quotes

Zach Orfman: We're going to go for a hike.
Geenie Slocum: Not a hot idea.
Maury Slocum: In broad daylight? Zach, are you nuts?
Geenie Slocum: Wait till nightfall.
Beth Slocum: Why?
Maury Slocum: Because, baby, it's safer.
Beth Slocum: At night? Who hikes at night?

Beth Slocum: I'm a zombie! Zombies eat guys.

More Life After Beth quotes

Tatiana: One time I got high, I read the back of the shampoo bottle for thirteen hours.
Jeanie Stangle: Because it said repeat.
Tatiana: Rinse and repeat.
Jeanie Stangle: I get it.

More Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates quotes

Darius: I have no funk. I'm totally funkless.

Darius: Why do you have flames on your laptop?
Arnau: It's a gaming laptop. It's really fast.

Jeff: You never done coke or anything, when you're studying for an exam?
Arnau: Cocaine? Are you crazy?
Jeff: What is it you study?
Arnau: Biological and life sciences.
Jeff: Makes sense. So what are you doing, interning at a magazine?
Arnau: Diversity looks good on an application for grad school.
Jeff: You know what, we gotta get you laid on this vacation. That's what's gotta happen.
Darius: Vacation?
Jeff: I mean, work trip. Whatever.

Kenneth: I really like your intensity. You're, like, no nonsense.
Darius: Well, there's no sense in nonsense. Especially when the heat's on.

Jeff: So here's what I'm thinking. We're budgeted for two rooms, but if we share a room, we could use that extra money for some other shit.
Darius: For what? Drugs?

More Safety Not Guaranteed quotes

Brandy Klark: Don't you have a dick to suck?
Amber: Several! Unlike you, fucktard.
Brandy Klark: Cluck you.
Amber: Cluck? Say fuck, you loser.

Brandy Klark: It's weird, huh? It's like the minute you give up control you just know what to do without doing anything.

Willy: Brandy, what do you think would have happened if I hadn't shown up?
Brandy Klark: I probably would have swallowed.

More The To Do List quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.