Quotes from Chris Pratt movies and TV shows

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Below are some quotes involving Chris Pratt - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

Peter Quill: I'm gonna ask you this one time, where is Gamora?
Tony Stark: Yeah, I'll do you one better, WHO is Gamora?
Drax: I'll do you one better, WHY is Gamora?

Tony Stark: You’re from Earth?
Peter Quill: No, I’m from Missouri.
Tony Stark: That’s on Earth, dipshit.

Peter Quill: How is this dude still alive?
Drax: He's not a dude. You're a dude. This is a MAN. A handsome, muscular man.
Gamora: It's like his muscles are made of Chitauri metal fibers...
Peter Quill: Stop massaging his muscles.

Drax: I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still, that I become invisible to the eye. Watch.
Peter Quill: You're eating a Zagnut.
Drax: My movement is so slow that it's imperceptible.
Peter Quill: Mmm, no.
Drax: I'm sure I'm invisible.
Mantis: Hi, Drax.
Drax: Dammit.

Peter Quill: Dude, don't call us plucky. We don't know what it means. We're more optimistic, yes. I like your plan. Except, it sucks. So let me do the plan and that way it might be really good.
Drax: Tell him about the dance-off to save the Universe.
Tony Stark: What dance-off?
Peter Quill: It's not a thing.
Peter Parker: Like in Footloose, the movie?
Peter Quill: Exactly like Footloose. Is it still the greatest movie in history?
Peter Parker: It never was.
Tony Stark: Don't encourage Flash Gordon.
Peter Quill: Flash Gordon? That's a compliment. Don't forget, I'm half human. So that 50% of me that's stupid that's 100% you.

Peter Quill: I'm gonna blow that nutsack of a chin right off your face.

Dr. Stephen Strange: What master do you serve?
Peter Quill: Oh, what master do I serve? What am I supposed to say, Jesus?

Thor: There are six stones out there. Thanos already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week when he decimated Xandar. He stole the Space Stone from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The Time and Mind Stones are safe on Earth, they're with the Avengers.
Peter Quill: The Avengers?
Thor: The Earth's mightiest heroes.
Mantis: Like Kevin Bacon?
Thor: He may be on the team, I don't know.

Alex Eilhauer: I feel like I'm drinking out of Chewbacca's dick.

Alex Eilhauer: Seeing you chop onions is depressing. It's like watching Michael Jordan take a shit.

Rocket Raccoon: I don't think you even have a plan.
Peter Quill: I have part of a plan.
Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan do you have?
Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!
Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
Peter Quill: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!
Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking of something else...

Peter Quill: There's one other name you might know me by. Star Lord.
Korath: Who?
Peter Quill: Star Lord, man. Legendary outlaw? Forget it.

Rocket Raccoon: Why would you want to save the galaxy?
Peter Quill: Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!

Drax: Where did you learn to do that?
Peter Quill: I'm pretty sure the answer is "I am Groot."

Gamora: And Quill... Your ship is filthy [walks away].
Peter Quill: Oh she has no idea. If I had a blacklight, this would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.
Rocket Raccoon: You got issues, Quill.

Peter Quill: I'm not about to be taken down by a tree and a talking raccoon...
Rocket Raccoon: What's a raccoon?
Peter Quill: "What's a raccoon?" It's what you are, stupid!
Rocket Raccoon: Ain't no thing like me, except me.

Gamora: You should have learned.
Peter Quill: I don't learn. One of my issues.

Drax the Destroyer: I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you've accepted me despite my blunders. It is good to once again be among friends. You, Quill, are my friend.
Peter Quill: Thanks.
Drax the Destroyer: This dumb tree is also my friend.
[Groot grunts.]
Drax the Destroyer: And this green whore is also...
Gamora: Oh, you must stop!

Gamora: I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.
Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
Gamora: Who put the sticks up their butts?

Peter Quill: What should we do next: Something good, something bad? Bit of both?
Gamora: We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord.
Peter Quill: A bit of both!

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