Shawn Spencer: Remember, Dad, you treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a goddess, then a person again.
Shawn Spencer: Don't worry, Jules. I'll crack your case like an egg. Then we'll make omelets with shallots... and justice.
Shawn Spencer: How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire.
Shawn Spencer: Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.
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