Trendy Man: Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt.
Thornton Melon: You too, huh? She's shown it to everybody.
Trendy Man: Well, she's very proud of it.
Thornton Melon: I'm proud of mine too. I don't go waving it around at parties, though.
Trendy Man: It's an exceptional painting.
Thornton Melon: Oh, the painting.
Vanessa: I have absolutely nothing to wear.
Thornton Melon: You got SIX closets full of nothing to wear.
Vanessa: Are you saying I spend too much money?
Thornton Melon: You spend too much money? Nah. A lot of people go to Switzerland to get their watch fixed.
Vanessa: You have no taste, Thornton.
Thornton Melon: You're right. I married you, didn't I?
Thornton Melon: When's our first class?
Jason Melon: Uh, we got Economics tomorrow at 11 o'clock.
Thornton Melon: 11 o'clock? No good. I got a massage 11 o'clock. Tell 'em to make it 2 o'clock.
Jason Melon: No, dad. Uh, you don't get it. They're not gonna re-schedule the classes around your massage.
Thornton Melon: All right, 11 o'clock, but I'm gonna talk to that Dean. I mean, these classes could be a real inconvenience.
Thornton Melon: I don't know. I can't figure women out. Today, they're... independent. They only think about themselves. Why, during sex, Vanessa - she used to scream out her own name.
Al Czervik: Hey doll, could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dogfood. I've had better food at the ball game, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.