Quotes from Jay Baruchel movies and TV shows

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Interpol Agent Bick: Let me ask you a question. You ever seen the inside of Sing Sing?
Francie Tobin: I haven't.
Interpol Agent Bick: Cause I know a lot of guys who would like to fuck you inside there.
Francie Tobin: You hitting on me?

Hiccup: Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

Hiccup: I really did hit one!
Gobber: Sure!
Hiccup: He never listens!
Gobber: Runs in the family!
Hiccup: And when he does its always with this disappointed scowl, like some one skimmed on the meat in his sandwich. 'Excuse me barmaid, I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish-bone!'
Gobber: Now, you're thinking about this all wrong! It's not so much what you look like, it's what's inside that he can't stand.
Hiccup: Thank you for summing that up!
Gobber: Look the point is, stop trying so hard to be something you're not!

Hiccup: Astrid, if something goes wrong, just promise me they won't find Toothless.
Astrid: I will. Just promise me it won't go wrong.

Hiccup: But the ultimate prize is the dragon no one has ever seen. We call it the...
Viking: Night Fury!
Hiccup: This thing never steals food, never shows itself and... [Night Fury destroys the catapult.] Never misses.

Hiccup: Everything we know about you guys is wrong.

Astrid: So what do you want to do now?
Hiccup: Probably something stupid.
Astrid: Okay, but you have already done that.
Hiccup: Then something crazy!
Astrid: That's more like it!

Gobber: If you ever want to get out there to fight dragons... You need to stop all... This.
Hiccup: But... You just pointed to all of me.
Gobber: Yes... That's it... Stop being all of you!

Hiccup: This is Berk. Life here is amazing. Dragons used to be a bit of a problem. But now they've all moved in.

Hiccup: Should I know you?
Valka: No. You were only a babe. But a mother never forgets.

Danger Barch: Oh, look, I'm Shawrelle! I'm humping the canvas.

Danger Barch: Anyone can lose one fight.

Kirk: Stainer, I know you don't like her very much.
Stainer: Nooo, no. I hate her. In fact, the day you broke up with her I marked that down on my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it.

Stainer: You do realize what's happening? She's setting you up with the bitchy friend.
Kirk: Patty's not a bitch, she's just different.
Stainer: Yeah, different in that she's a bitch and other people aren't.

Stainer: Maybe you have a rich benefactor who's trying to set you up before you die. Like Great Expectations. Have you read that book?
Kirk: No.
Stainer: It's so weird!

Kirk: You lied about me to your parents!
Molly: I did not!
Kirk: "Kirk's in aviation?" That's like saying the guy who shovels elephant shit in the circus is in show business.

Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compells you!
Jonah Hill: Guess what? It's not that compelling.

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