Quotes from Jim Parsons movies and TV shows

All people starting with J

Below are some quotes involving Jim Parsons - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

The Big Bran Hypothesis - S1-E2

Sheldon: Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

Add time

Pilot - S1-E1

Penny: Four years I lived with him! Four years, I mean that's like as long as high school!
Sheldon: It took you FOUR YEARS to get through high school?

Add time

Pilot - S1-E1

Penny: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.

Add time

The Desperation Emanation - S4-E5

Leonard: All right. Well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There ya go.

Add time

Super Grover Premium member

The Agreement Dissection - S4-E21

Sheldon: You may have gone to Cambridge, but I am an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.

Add time

Super Grover Premium member

The Extract Obliteration - S6-E6

Stephen Hawking: Do you like brain teasers?
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I love brain teasers.
Stephen Hawking: What do Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck. Neener, neener.

Add time

The Bat Jar Conjecture - S1-E13

Sheldon: At this point, I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the very bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears!
Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.
Sheldon: You're welcome. [Turns to leave.] One more thing,
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: It's on, bitch.

Add time

Sheldon: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.

Add time

Sheldon: You participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow effects your personality.

Add time

Pilot - S1-E1

Sheldon: We are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high IQ offspring, think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.

Add time

The Dumpling Paradox - S1-E7

Sheldon: Every Saturday morning since we've lived in this apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal, added a quarter cup of 2% milk, sat on that end of that couch, turned on BBC America and watched Doctor Who.
Leonard: Penny's still sleeping.
[Sheldon stares at Penny for some time.]
Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment.

Add time

Pilot - S1-E1

Sheldon: You're not done with her, are you?
Leonard: Our babies will be smart AND beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.

Add time

Sheldon: You have about as much chance of going out with Penny as the Hubble Telescope has of finding that at the center of each black hole there's a little man with a flashlight trying to find the circuit breaker.

Add time

Pilot - S1-E1

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on MySpace.
Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them.
Sheldon: That's the beauty of it.

Add time

The Guitarist Amplification - S3-E7

Penny: Wow, Sheldon. I had no idea you made a board game.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, Research Lab is more than just a board game. As it says in the box, "the physics is theoretical, but the fun is real."
Leonard Hofstadter: We must not be playing it right.

Add time

The Guitarist Amplification - S3-E7

Sheldon Cooper: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago, I told you not to talk to her, and now look, we're going to be late for the movies.

Add time

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I'm most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your roommate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm gonna make it look.

Add time

The Zazzy Substitution - S4-E3

Sheldon: May I point out that for eight long months, I suffered in silence as your female companion filled our apartment with her off key country music caterwauling, the unappetizing spectacle of grinding a pommel stone against her calloused feet in our living room, and night after night of uninformative TV documentaries about the Jersey Shore.
Leonard: Suffered in silence?
Sheldon: Yes, and I would expect you to do the same.
Leonard: Really? SILENCE!?

Add time

The White Asparagus Triangulation - S2-E9

[Sheldon points to a computer.]
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here.
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?

Add time

The Loobenfeld Decay - S1-E10

Sheldon: I was analyzing our lie and I believe we're in danger of Penny seeing through the ruse.
Leonard: How?
Sheldon: Simple: If she were to log on to SoCal physics group.org forward slash activities forward slash other, scroll down to seminars, download the PDF schedule, and look for the seminar on molecular positronium, well then, bippity boppity boo, our pants are metaphorically on fire!

Add time

Join the mailing list

Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.