Tim Lippe: Do you realise I used to just stare and stare at you when you were teaching us about the rainforests or whatever? And I would think "I wonder what Mrs. V looks like with her clothes off." And then, boom, we run into each other in line at True Value and boom, here we are making love. Like, once a week. It's like it was fate or something. Did you ever used to look at me and think dirty things?
Macy Vanderhei: You were twelve.
Tim Lippe: Right.
Stu: Yeah I got two thirds of it - he said something about the garden of meditation.
Alan: No, he said I'm farting because of my medication.
Phil: And her dad hates you.
Stu: He doesn't hate me. He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing.
Doug: I get it. I really do. It's just that Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
Stu: I consider Alan to be insane.
Phil: Oh please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
Stu: Oh, this will be good.
Phil: Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Mellisa and two years later you meet your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation and you would have married a cunt. [To the shocked patrons.] Oh it's ok. No, it's ok. It's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody. Oh wait, there's no alcohol - I forgot we're at a fucking IHOP!
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