Groot: I am Groot.
Peter Quill: Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?
Rocket Raccoon: Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to 'I' and 'am' and 'Groot,' exclusively in that order.
Peter Quill: Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud.
Phil: And her dad hates you.
Stu: He doesn't hate me. He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing.
Phil: Oh please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
Stu: Oh, this will be good.
Phil: Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Mellisa and two years later you meet your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation and you would have married a cunt. [To the shocked patrons.] Oh it's ok. No, it's ok. It's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody. Oh wait, there's no alcohol - I forgot we're at a fucking IHOP!
Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not nobody knows Stu like I do. No one. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact, more important than blood. What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago..."
Phil: Time's up.
Phil Wenneck: You're not really wearing that are you?
Alan Garner: Wearing what?
Phil Wenneck: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you just fuckin' with me?
Alan Garner: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil Wenneck: So does Joy Behar.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.