Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know?
Frito: I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.
Stripper: Anybody want to buy me a champagne drink? How about a fancy beer? 15 bucks for a lap dance.
John Lyshitski: Yeah, I'm not that horny. I just got out of prison.
John Lyshitski: Our justice system sucks. You know, there are over two million Americans behind bars. That's a little larger than the population of Houston. Every year, there are enough children born in prison to fill 250 Little League teams and enough people are raped in prison to fill a stadium more than three times. Can you picture that? Three stadiums full of people raping each other? I know I can.
John Lyshitski: We should be cellmates. I don't snore, and I'm a quiet masturbator. Hell, I'll even give you the top bunk.
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