Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... And like, I have to hide every erection I get.
Evan: Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.
Seth: You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hinds it AND it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.
Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site.
Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: Right, I didn't realize that.
Seth: Besides, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?
Seth: [shakes his head.] Not for me.
Michael Finkel: It's not easy to relate to someone accused of four murders, but everybody understands a child needing a toy.
Franklin: Pigs have uniforms, I think we should have uniforms too. Gotta match those fuckers on every level.
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