Quotes from Nathan Fillion movies and TV shows

Little Girl Lost - S1-E9

Beckett: [Growing weary of Castle and Sorenson trying to one-up each other.] Oh, for god's sake, why don't you both just drop your pants and get it over with?
Castle: I'm game.

Wrapped Up in Death - S2-E19

Beckett: Murdered Medina just to boost ticket sales? No, that would make this Scooby-Doo... And I'm not Velma.
Castle: Velma, you kidding? You're Daphne... You're hot, smart, not aggressively brainy, but long legs, short skirt...
Beckett: Stop!
Castle: Why?
Beckett: Now!
Castle: Got it.


Flowers for Your Grave - S1-E1

Beckett: Richard Castle, you are under arrest for felony theft and obstruction of justice.
Castle: You forgot making you look bad.

Cubs Fan

Almost Famous - S3-E7

Castle: I can't believe you got dressed up for this. Tell me again why Ryan and Esposito couldn't come with you?
Beckett: Well, they agreed as a volunteer assistant homicide detective you could really sink your teeth into this avenue of investigation. And they called "not it."
Castle: You know, ever since I've been following you, I've been dreaming of the day that you'd say "let's go to the strip club and get this dirt bag." I just never imagined it would feel like this.
Beckett: Let me know if you need any singles.


Probable Cause - S5-E5

Castle: Jewelry. I never would have thought of that.
Beckett: I guess I'll have to remind you when my birthday's coming up.
Castle: Why Detective Beckett, was that a hint you just dropped?
Beckett: Why Mr. Castle, I do believe it was.
Castle: Shameless.


3XK - S3-E6

Capt Montgomery: Feds say he's a white male, 25 to 45 years old...
Castle: Could be me.
Capt Montgomery: With a dysfunctional relationship with his mother...
Castle: Still me.
Capt Montgomery: He has a menial, unimportant job...
Beckett: Definitely you.
Castle: Just for that, I base my next book on Esposito.

Nanny McDead - S1-E2

Beckett: Exactly how many times have you been married, Castle?
Castle: Twice.
Beckett: That's it?
Castle: Isn't that enough? How 'bout you?
Beckett: Me? No. Never been.
Castle: Really?
Beckett: Yep.
Castle: You'd be good at it, you're both controlling and disapproving. You should really try it.
Beckett: I'm not an "if at first you don't succeed" kind of a girl, Castle, when it comes to marriage, I'm more of a "one and done" type.
Castle: Hmm, any serious candidates?


Fool Me Once - S2-E4

Ryan: You know what I don't get?
Beckett: Mm-hmm?
Ryan: Why go to so much trouble to create such an elaborate scam? Fletcher must have spent weeks going through all the prep work.
Beckett: I can give you 50,000 reasons why.
Castle: Yeah, but for con men, it's not just about the money. I mean, for them, it's about the game. The... The thrill they get from pulling a con, it's like a drug high.
Montgomery: [approaching] Con man was on drugs?
Beckett: No, sir. Castle is just giving us psychological insight based on his extensive experience as a fraud.

Cubs Fan

Murder He Wrote - S5-E4

Castle: What kind of cold-blooded killer takes a nap on the beach after shooting someone?
Beckett: Castle, I'm on vacation. If I wanted to investigate a murder, I would have stayed in the city.

Cubs Fan

The Good, the Bad & the Baby - S6-E10

Beckett: There's been a murder in a church downtown.
Castle: Aw, too bad it wasn't in a cathedral. That would be so T.S. Eliot. Huh? "Murder in the Cathedral"? Thomas Becket? Beckett and Becket?
Beckett: Come on.
Castle: Nothing? Anyone?

A Deadly Affair - S3-E1

Castle: I know that look.
Beckett: What look?
Castle: That "something doesn't add up" look.

Cubs Fan

Sucker Punch - S2-E13

Kate Beckett: If you tell anyone what I'm about to say, there's going to be another shooting. But... I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it a little more fun.
Richard Castle: Your secret's safe with me.

Nanny McDead - S1-E2

Lanie: But what I thought you might find really interesting, is the fact that she had sex within the hours before her death.
Beckett: Sex?
Castle: I'll explain how that works later.

A Death in the Family - S1-E10

Beckett: What is it with men and boobs, anyway?
Castle: Biological, we can't help it.
Beckett: But doesn't it bother you that they're so obviously not real?
Castle: Santa's not real; we still love opening his presents.

A Chill Goes Through Her Veins - S1-E5

Castle: Alright, so you and I are married.
Beckett: We are not married!
Castle: Relax, it's just pretend.
Beckett: I don't want to pretend!
Castle: Scared you'll like it?
Beckett: OK, if we're married, I want a divorce!
Roger: Are you two like this all the time?
Castle and Beckett: [Together] Yes!

A Chill Goes Through Her Veins - S1-E5

Castle: It's family moments like these, I will never forget.
Alexis: With a good therapist, hopefully I will.

Til Death Do Us Part - S4-E11

Beckett: Castle, if we were getting married, would you want to know about all the guys that I've slept with?
Castle: All... ?
Beckett: Seriously? You sign women's chests at book readings, you cannot be shocked that I'm not a virgin.
Castle: Ahh, it's just the word, "all" suggests... A lot. How many we talkin', exactly?
Beckett: Are you really asking for my number?
Castle: You show me yours, I'll show you mine.
Beckett: [With a sly smile on her face.] Men. You all wanna know, but you don't wanna know.

Law & Boarder - S6-E21

Beckett: Did you seriously stay up staring at this Scrabble board all night instead of going to bed?
Castle: With these five remaining tiles, I have to craft a word scoring 9 points... And I turn defeat, into victory.
Alexis: Oh, my gosh, did you really beat dad at Scrabble?
Castle: I concede nothing! Except that I need more coffee.
Martha: That is quite an accomplishment young lady... Nobody beats him, ever!
Beckett: Oh yeah, he's mentioned that... Repeatedly.
Martha: Ahhh, how the mighty have fallen!
Castle: Richard Castle, one word short... I cannot allow this to be my epitaph.
[Beckett and Alexis slyly fist-bump each other.]
Castle: I saw that!

Hedge Fund Homeboys - S1-E3

Castle: Oh my God! This is quite possibly the worst coffee I've ever tasted. It's actually kind of fascinating, it tastes like a...[pauses to take a sip.] it tastes like a monkey peed in battery acid. [To Beckett.] Try some?

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