Michael Scott: What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people. The *people*. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no, no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?" Wow. *Wow.* Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.
Michael Scott: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
Michael Scott: I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third.
Michael Scott: Stir the pot! Stir the melting pot, Pam! Let's do it. Let's get ugly. Let's get real.
Pam Beesly: [To Dwight with the "Asian" card on his forehead] Okay. If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.
Dwight Schrute: Oh, man, am I a woman?
Jan Levison: You already had a party on May 5th for no reason.
Michael Scott: No reason! It was the 05-05-05 party. It happens once every billion years.
Jan: And you had a luau. And the tsunami relief fundraiser, which somehow lost a lot of money.
Michael: Okay, no, that was a fun raiser. I think I made that very clear in the flyers. Fun, F-U-N.
Jan: Okay, well, I don't understand why anyone would have a tsunami fun raiser, Michael.
Michael Scott: Can I ask you a question?
Jan Levison: No.
Michael: This is a business question. It's nothing personal. I promise.
Michael: Are you wearing new perfume today?
Jan: How is that a business question?
Michael: Well, you're wearing it in the office. And...[sniffs Jan]...It... I'm sorry, no offense, but it's really sexy.
Jan: Please don't smell me, Michael.
Michael Scott: And another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby Flenderson: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's...uh...you know, there's gambling and alcohol. And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And Hooters is catering. Is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: [long pause] Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, ever time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate, so much, about the things that you choose to be.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.