Amy: This party is raging.
Kiki: What a turnout.
Martha Stewart: Hi, would you ladies like a Jell-O shot?
Amy: Is that, is that? Martha Stewart! Martha, Oh, my God.
Kiki: Thank you. Oh, my God.
Martha Stewart: Good, right?
Carla: I'm cumming.
Kiki: Oh, my God. What's in this?
Martha Stewart: Well, it's bespoke lingonberry gelatin... and a shitload of vodka.
Kiki: They're delicious.
Martha Stewart: I start my day with six of these.
Carla: First of all, you're so not a failure as a mother. In fact, you're the best mother that we've ever seen.
Kiki: True that.
Carla: You give your kids salad. Your remember your kids birthdays! I mean, I've sat here and watched you wait until your kid fell asleep before you got high.
Amy: Most moms do that, Carla.
Dr. Karl: Okay, remember when I said that all marriages are savable? Well, it ain't gonna happen for you guys.
Amy: So what do you think we should do?
Dr. Karl: Well, as a therapist, I'm not allowed to tell you what do to. But, uh, as a human being with two fucking eyes in my head, yeah I think you should get divorced as soon as possible. This is some catastrophic shit.
Connie: You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed. So, you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay.
Brian Griffin: You know, Connie, I think I have this theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg Griffin: Brian, let's just go.
Brian Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no. Hang on a minute, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn out chalky skinned burlap sack that even your own stepdad won't want. How is that? Am I in the ballpark?
[Connie runs off crying].
Tommy: The babies you two are gonna have. Those things are gonna get *really* big and then *really* small.
Jamie: We're not together.
Tommy: That was a highly inappropriate series of comments and I apologize.