Quotes from Mila Kunis movies and TV shows

Amy: This party is raging.
Kiki: What a turnout.
Martha Stewart: Hi, would you ladies like a Jell-O shot?
Amy: Is that, is that? Martha Stewart! Martha, Oh, my God.
Kiki: Thank you. Oh, my God.
Martha Stewart: Good, right?
Carla: I'm cumming.
Kiki: Oh, my God. What's in this?
Martha Stewart: Well, it's bespoke lingonberry gelatin... and a shitload of vodka.
Kiki: They're delicious.
Martha Stewart: I start my day with six of these.

Carla: First of all, you're so not a failure as a mother. In fact, you're the best mother that we've ever seen.
Kiki: True that.
Carla: You give your kids salad. Your remember your kids birthdays! I mean, I've sat here and watched you wait until your kid fell asleep before you got high.
Amy: Most moms do that, Carla.

Dr. Karl: Okay, remember when I said that all marriages are savable? Well, it ain't gonna happen for you guys.
Amy: So what do you think we should do?
Dr. Karl: Well, as a therapist, I'm not allowed to tell you what do to. But, uh, as a human being with two fucking eyes in my head, yeah I think you should get divorced as soon as possible. This is some catastrophic shit.

Jane: How do you know?
Amy: Because I'm your mom. I know what you're made of.

More Bad Moms quotes

Kiki: I spend months picking out the perfect present for everyone. You know the only thing I get in return? Coupons. Free back rubs.
Amy: That’s not OK.
Kiki: Shitty back rubs.

More A Bad Moms Christmas quotes

Lily: Did you have some sort of lezzie wet dream about me? Was I good?

More Black Swan quotes

Barely Legal - S5-E8

Connie: You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed. So, you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay.
Brian Griffin: You know, Connie, I think I have this theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg Griffin: Brian, let's just go.
Brian Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no. Hang on a minute, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn out chalky skinned burlap sack that even your own stepdad won't want. How is that? Am I in the ballpark?
[Connie runs off crying].

Meg Griffin: I just want to kill myself. I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
[Lois and Peter stare in silence.]
Meg Griffin: I'm allergic to peanuts.
[Peter and Lois keep staring.]
Meg Griffin: You don't know anything about me! [Runs upstairs.]
Peter Griffin: Who was that guy?

Petarded - S4-E6

Chris Griffin: My dad's smarter than your dad!
Meg Griffin: We have the same dad, you idiot.
Chris Griffin: Yeah, but mine's smarter!

Meg: Mom, Dad, am I ugly?
Lois: Of course not, sweetie.
Peter: Yeah, where'd you get a stupid idea like that?
Meg: Craig Hoffman.
Peter: Craig...Craig Hoffman? Hmmm, he's a sharp kid. You might be ugly.

More Family Guy quotes

Dylan: Breasts.
Jamie: Really? I think they're so tiny.
Dylan: They're still breasts.
Jamie: Thank you!

Tommy: The babies you two are gonna have. Those things are gonna get *really* big and then *really* small.
Jamie: We're not together.
Tommy: That was a highly inappropriate series of comments and I apologize.

Jamie: I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love. Shut up, Katherine Heigl, you stupid, little liar!

Dylan: Why do women think the only way to get men to do what they want is to manipulate them?
Jamie: History, personal experience, romantic comedies.

More Friends with Benefits quotes

Jupiter Jones: Yeah, because a dream is the only way any of this make sense.
Caine Wise: Compared to what? The idea that you're the only intelligent species, on the only inhabitable planet, in a universe so full of planets that you don't even have a number to describe how many there are.

Jupiter Jones: I don't care. The more you care, the more the world finds ways to hurt you for it.

Jupiter Jones: The problem with Astrology? Total bullshit.

Jupiter Jones: Are those flying boots?
Caine Wise: They use the force of gravity, redirecting it into differential equation slopes that you can surf.
Jupiter Jones: Yeah. I heard "gravity" and "surf."
Caine Wise: Up is hard. Down is easy.
Jupiter Jones: Thank you. Wow.

More Jupiter Ascending quotes

Oz: Where's your broom?
Theodora: You don't know much about witches, do you?

More Oz the Great and Powerful quotes

Audrey: Oh my god! I killed someone! I killed someone!
Morgan: Stop yelling that!

More The Spy Who Dumped Me quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.