Amy: This party is raging.
Kiki: What a turnout.
Martha Stewart: Hi, would you ladies like a Jell-O shot?
Amy: Is that, is that? Martha Stewart! Martha, Oh, my God.
Kiki: Thank you. Oh, my God.
Martha Stewart: Good, right?
Carla: I'm cumming.
Kiki: Oh, my God. What's in this?
Martha Stewart: Well, it's bespoke lingonberry gelatin... and a shitload of vodka.
Kiki: They're delicious.
Martha Stewart: I start my day with six of these.
Carla: First of all, you're so not a failure as a mother. In fact, you're the best mother that we've ever seen.
Kiki: True that.
Carla: You give your kids salad. Your remember your kids birthdays! I mean, I've sat here and watched you wait until your kid fell asleep before you got high.
Amy: Most moms do that, Carla.
Dr. Karl: Okay, remember when I said that all marriages are savable? Well, it ain't gonna happen for you guys.
Amy: So what do you think we should do?
Dr. Karl: Well, as a therapist, I'm not allowed to tell you what do to. But, uh, as a human being with two fucking eyes in my head, yeah I think you should get divorced as soon as possible. This is some catastrophic shit.
Connie: You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed. So, you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay.
Brian Griffin: You know, Connie, I think I have this theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg Griffin: Brian, let's just go.
Brian Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no. Hang on a minute, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn out chalky skinned burlap sack that even your own stepdad won't want. How is that? Am I in the ballpark?
[Connie runs off crying].
Meg: Oh my God, you got fired!?
Chris: Way to go, dad! Fight the machine!
Stewie: How do you know about the machine!?
Peter: Now don't worry, kids. Your father's still going to put food on this table. Just not as much so it might get a little bit competitive.
Meg: Who cares about food? Now we'll never be able to afford my lip injections!
Brian: Hey, Peter. Can we put her out in the yard for a while? (00:07:10)
Meg: Dad, we can't leave now. My entire life depends on getting my license. If I can't drive, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married, and then I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell.
Peter: Meg, are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell can't drive? (00:04:43)
Tommy: The babies you two are gonna have. Those things are gonna get *really* big and then *really* small.
Jamie: We're not together.
Tommy: That was a highly inappropriate series of comments and I apologize.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.