Quotes from Dan Castellaneta movies and TV shows - page 7 of 7

Mr. Plow - S4-E9

Homer: When two best friends work together, not even God himself can stop them.
God: Oh, no? [God proceeds to melt all the snow in Springfield, effectively destroying Homer and Barney's snow plow businesses].

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Tree House of Horror III: The Simpson's Halloween Special III - S4-E5

[Every character is throwing something into a bottomless pit.]
Homer: [Throws in evil Krusty doll] Goodbye dolly.
Italian Mobster: [Throws in dead body] Arrivederci, Vito.
Man: I was a fool to think anyone would want nude photos of Whoopi Goldberg. [Throws them into the pit, the pit throws them back out] What the?

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Homer: Shut up, boy.

Cubs Fan

Bart Gets an Elephant - S5-E17

Marge: [Referring to Bart's new pet elephant] Homer, it looks like it could gore.
Homer: Heh heh, he does look like Al Gore.

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Rosebud - S5-E4

Barney the Purple Dinosaur: [singing] Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four.
Homer: Heh heh heh heh. I can see why this is so popular.

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The Mansion Family - S11-E12

Homer: See that ship over there? They're rebroadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not expressed written consent.

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Homerpalooza - S7-E24

Abe: What the hell are you two doin'?
Barney: It's called "rockin' out."
Homer: You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're not "with it."
Abe: I used to be "with it," but then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.

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Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner - S11-E3

Homer: I don't need Lisa to write a good review. "The food at the Gilded Truffle really..." Uh, what's a good word?
Maggie: [Sucks on pacifier].
Homer: "Sucks." That's great. "And the bread was really..." Come on, help me out here.
Santa's Little Helper: Ruff.
Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?
Homer: "Chewy," that's inspired.

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Deep Space Homer - S5-E15

Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me.
Man on TV: [Pointing at the screen and laughing] You stupid! [Continues laughing]
Homer: D'oh!

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Scenes From a Class Struggle in Springfield - S7-E14

Tom Kite: You know Homer, the traditional way to cheat in golf is to lower your score.
Homer: That's one way.
Tom Kite: Ha ha, I'm PGA Tour pro Tom Kite. How 'bout I give you a few pointers on your game? Now you don't want to overthink.
Homer: Not an issue.
Tom Kite: Keep your head down.
Homer: [Raises head] Huh?
Tom Kite: Pretend there's no-one else here. [Homer scratches his butt with the driver and then belches.] And just go at your own pace. [Homer hits the ball onto the green.] Wow, very impressive. You're a natural, Mr. Simpson.
Homer: Really?
Tom Kite: Uh huh. All you need is your own set of clubs. [Takes his clubs back from Homer.] And stay the hell out of my locker! You can keep the shoes.

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Fear of Flying - S6-E11

Homer: Wait a minute. There's something bothering me about this place. I know, this lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies!
Lesbian: What was her problem?

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Dude, Where's My Ranch? - S14-E18

The Simpsons Family: ♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling...
Blue-haired Lawyer: Cease and desist! You are forbidden to perform that song without paying royalties to the copyright owner.
Marge: Nobody owns Christmas carols. They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Not true, but you are welcome to sing the many public domain carols, such as "O Tannenbaum," "Good King Wenceslas," "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring."
Homer: Those suck! They're worse than nothing! I could write way better songs.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Go ahead, but don't use A-flat or G-natural, those notes are owned by Disney.
Homer: [Moans.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's A-flat.
Homer: [Moans in a higher pitch.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's better.

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Margical History Tour - S15-E11

New this month
Homer: And now, the star of our show: my son, Mozart. He makes Bach turn back, Haydn go into hidin', and, well, those are the only ones there have been so far.

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