Quotes from Dan Castellaneta movies and TV shows - page 4 of 7
Homer: Here we are: Branson, Missouri.
Male Charles Bronson Lookalike: No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri.
Lisa: Well how do we get to Branson?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: Number 10 bus.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: Hey Ma, how 'bout some cookies?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: No dice.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: This ain't over.
Marge: Ooh, a rattle. Thank you, Selma.
Moe: Yeah, great present, Selma. Nice of you to break a five.
Selma: Get a neck, Frankenstein.
Moe: Hey, open my present. Open my present. It's Uncle Moe's play tavern, with classic drunk Barney. Look, even the little toilet is broken.
Marge: I don't know if toy drunkards are an appropriate gift for a baby.
Moe: Sure they are. They even talk, look [flips switch on a Homer figurine].
Homer Figurine: I peed my pants.
Homer: I recorded that for private use!
George Plimpton: Welcome to the games of the 34th "Spellympiad." I'm George Plimpton, founder of "The Paris Review." I also play the evil dean in "Boner Academy."
Homer: You monster! Why did you expel Boogerman?
George Plimpton: He replaced my tennis racket with a rubber phallus.
George Plimpton: Alright, your word is "whether."
Sun Moon: Which one? Can you use it in a sentence?
George Plimpton: Certainly. "I don't know whether the weather will improve."
Sun Moon: Uh, ooh, W, uh, um, E... [gets disqualified]
George Plimpton: Alex, your word is "rigged." As in, "This contest is rigged."
Alex: R-I-G-G-E-D. "Wigged."
George Plimpton: Bravo, my pet. You shall be champion, assuming Lisa misspells this next word. The word is "intransigence."
Lisa: Could I please hear it in a sentence?
George Plimpton: Certainly. "The little girl's intransigence cost her the college of her choice."
Lisa: "Intransigence." I...
Homer: Daddy made it for your dance recital, honey!
Lisa: Dad, you do care.
Homer: Damn right. You're number one on my menu. Now super-size it.
Lisa: With you here, I can't fail. Attention everyone. I was asked to take a dive, but I won't do it! I-N-T-R-A-N-S-I-G-A-N-C-E.
George Plimpton: You fool, it's "E-N-C-E."
Lisa: Oh my god, you're right. I spelled it wrong. I tried my best and I failed.
George Plimpton: And now you lose everything. And I go back to whatever it is I do.
Homer: Look at these bills: chains for elephant. Shots for elephant. Over-sized decorative poncho?
Bart: Technically it's for a giraffe, but I think I can let it out a little.
Homer: Well these bills will have to be paid out of your allowance.
Bart: You'll have to raise my allowance to about a thousand dollars a week.
Homer: Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.
Bart: May I be excused, Mom?
Homer: Oh, so now you're quitting dinner too.
Marge: Homer, please.
Homer: I didn't raise him to be a quitter, Marge. It must have been you. You've quit every job you've had. Cop, pretzel vendor, church counselor, professional gambler.
Marge: He's doing what he thinks is best.
Homer: Well if quitting is the best, maybe I should just quit my job. [Picks up the phone and calls Mr. Burns.]
Mr. Burns: Ahoy-hoy.
Homer: Mr. Burns, this is Homer J. Simpson. The father of the big quitter. Well I just wanted to tell you I'm a big quitter too, and I quit [winks at phone].
Marge: Homer, Mr. Burns can't see you winking.
Homer: So? [Screams].
Hank WIlliams, Jr.: ♪Can you name the truck with four-wheel drive? Smells like a steak and seats thirty-five. Canyonero. Canyonero. Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down. It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown. Canyonero. Canyonero.
Krusty: Hey hey!
Announcer: The Federal Highway Commission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.
Hank Williams, Jr.: ♪Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride. Canyonero. Canyonero. Top of the line in utility sports. Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts. Canyonero. Canyonero. She blinds everybody with her super high beams. She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin', drivin' machine. Canyonero. Canyonero. Ya! Ya Canyonero! Whoa Canyonero! Whoa!
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Lenny: Hey Homer, that's four strikes in a row. You've got a perfect game goin'.
Carl: Careful what you say, Lenny. You'll jinx it.
Lenny: Alright, sorry. Miss. Miss! Sorry, I was callin' the waitress. Uh, this split you sold me is makin' me choke.
Lenny: What? I paid $7.10 for this split.
Carl: Will you at least call it a banana split, you dumb-wad!?
Lenny: Hey, spare me your gutter mouth!
Homer: What are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
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