Quotes from Dan Castellaneta movies and TV shows - page 3 of 7

The Springfield Files - S8-E10

Marge: Have you been drinking?
Homer: No! Well, ten beers.

King of the Hill - S9-E23

Homer: If God didn't want us to eat in church, he'd have made gluttony a sin.

Bart Sells His Soul - S7-E4

[Listening to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" in church.]
Homer: Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?

Homer: Insurance is the greatest deal ever. If I get hurt, I get paid. And man do I get hurt!

The Simpsons Christmas Special: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire - S1-E1

Marge: You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
Homer: Yeah, if you want one you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.

Grampa: Bart broke my teeth!
Homer: Daaad! you and your stories... Bart broke my teeth, the nurses are stealing my money. This thing on my neck is getting bigger.

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (2) - S7-E1

Chief Wiggum: This bullet matches the one we took out of Burns. Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.
Homer Simpson: D'oh!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "D'oh."

Bishop73

Tree House of Horror XII - S13-E1

Homer: Die, you monster!
Lisa: Dad, that's the water softener.
Homer: Well, I am missing the back of my head. I think you could cut me some slack.

Cubs Fan

Marge vs. the Monorail - S4-E12

Marge: Homer, I think I've found someone who can help!
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: IT'S NOT BATMAN.

Saddlesore Galactica - S11-E13

Homer: That horse better win, or we're taking a trip to the glue factory. And he won't get to come.

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My Big Fat Geek Wedding - S15-E17

Skinner: I'm starting to get cold feet. Please don't tell anyone.
Homer: Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. Marge, guess what? Skinner wants to bail on his wedding.
Skinner: Homer, you're still talking to me.
Homer: Oh man is this awkward.

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Simpson Tide - S9-E19

TV Announcer: Next on Exploitation Theater: "Blacula." Followed by "Blackenstein" and "The Blunchblack of Blotre Blame."
Homer: Whoo, funky.

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Lisa the Vegetarian - S7-E5

Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausage in that syrup Homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all.

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The Cartridge Family - S9-E5

Homer: I'd like to buy your deadliest gun, please.
Raphael: Aisle 6, next to the sympathy cards.

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The Cartridge Family - S9-E5

TV Announcer: The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield. It's all here: fast kicking, low scoring. And ties? You bet.
Bart: Hey Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game?
Homer: I don't know.
TV Announcer: You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Arriaga, Arriaga II, Barriaga, Aruglia, and Pizzozza.
Homer: Oh, I've never heard of those people.
TV Announcer: And they'll all be signing autographs.
Homer: Woohoo!
TV Announcer: This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on Earth. Mexico or Portugal.

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Tree House of Horror VIII - S9-E4

[Homer is shopping for a bomb shelter.]
Herman: Now this baby is called the "Withstandinator." It can take a six megaton blast. No more, no less.
Homer: Ooh.

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The Old Man and the Lisa - S8-E21

[Mr. Burns is grocery shopping for the first time and sees Krusty getting a box of Krusty O's]
Mr. Burns: Could you tell me where I might find the Burns O's?
Krusty: Sorry Pops, they don't put nobodies on cereal boxes.
Mr. Burns: [Looking at a box of Count Chocula] Well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me.

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Tree House of Horror XI - S12-E1

Homer: Did you see that? I did the deed. Open up.
St. Peter: Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking.
Homer: Hey, I thought you guys could see everything.
St. Peter: No, you're thinking of Santa Claus.
Homer: Well I'll be damned.
St. Peter: I'm afraid so, yes. [Drops Homer into Hell.]

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Tree House of Horror IV: The Simpson's Halloween Special IV - S5-E5

Demon: So, you like donuts, eh?
Homer: Uh huh.
Demon: Well, have all the donuts in the world. [Laughs maniacally.]
[Homer proceeds to eat all the donuts in the world with little effort.]
Demon: I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes.

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A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
Hannibal Lecter: Excellent. [Snarls].
Mr. Burns: Next.
William Shatner: Ex. Cell. Ent.
Mr. Burns: Next.
Homer: Exactly. Heh heh. D'oh!
Mr. Burns: Next.
Bumblebee Man: ¡Excelente!
Señor Spielbergo: Es muy bueno.
Mr. Burns: Oh, it's hopeless. I'll have to play myself.

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