Quotes from Dan Castellaneta movies and TV shows - page 2 of 7

Homer: I can't believe we're paying for something we can see on TV for free.

Homer: I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger and back...naked.
Bart: How naked?
Homer: Fourth base.
Bart: The girls might see my doodles.

Marge: Something happened to Grandpa!
Homer: I'll tell you what happened. A certain someone had a senior moment, but we love him, and he got us a free rug out of it.

Lisa: Dad, do something!
[Homer flips through the Bible.]
Homer: This book doesn't have any answers!

EPA official: Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.
Russ Cargill: Of course I have! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you.

Marge Simpson: I hate being late.
Homer Simpson: Well I hate going. Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way: by praying like hell on my deathbed.
Marge Simpson: Homer, they can hear you inside!
Homer Simpson: Relax. Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phony-baloney God.
[Stony stares from the congregation.]
Homer Simpson: Hey, how you doing? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.

Homer: We have a great life here in Alaska, and we're never going back to America again!

Marge: You can take Spiderpig with you...
Homer: He's not Spiderpig any more, he's Harry Plopper.

Homer: Oh come on... I can't start a new life on my own and I've really come to like you guys.

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Tree House of Horror X - S11-E4

[The Simpsons are driving down a road as fast as possible.]
Homer: Dear God, it's Homer. If you really love me you'll save my life now.
[The gas needle immediately drops to empty and the car stops.]
Homer: D'oh.

Homer's brain: It's simple, just use reverse psycology.
Homer: Reverse psycology? That sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Alright, don't use reverse psycology.
Homer: Alright, I will!

The Simpsons Christmas Special: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire - S1-E1

Homer: [buying a chewtoy for Maggie.] It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.

All Singing, All Dancing - S9-E11

Marge: We got the popcorn. Did you get "Waiting to Exhale?"
Homer: Well, they put us on the "Waiting to Exhale" waiting list, but they said "Don't hold your breath."

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Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Maude Flanders: Excuse me, Edna. I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

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Homer: Weaseling out of things is important for kids to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

Jaws Wired Shut - S13-E9

[Homer is at Moe's Bar talking about when his jaw was broken.]
Homer: And when I couldn't talk, I learned to listen! You can learn so much if you just listen once in a while.
Lenny: Let's try it!
[They listen and hear Moe on the phone in a back room.]
Moe: Hello, uh, I'd like to arrange for an escort, please? TO WHERE? How about orgasm-ville, ya dumb - hey, hello? Hello?

Homer to the Max - S10-E13

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster.

Boy Scoutz N the Hood - S5-E8

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: But Homer, twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!

Homer to the Max - S10-E13

Marge: I don't want to snuggle with Max Power.
Homer: Max Power doesn't snuggle. You just strap yourself in and feel the Gs!

Springfield Connection - S6-E23

Homer: When Marge joined the police academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie, "Spaceballs." Instead, it's been dark and depressing, like that movie "Police Academy."

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