Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.
Ron: Really? Yes, I do. I'm sorry, it's the...it's the pleats. It's actually an optical illusion, it's the pattern on the pants. They...it's not flattering in the...the crotchal region. I'm actually taking them back right now. Taking them back to the...the pants store. Well, this is awkward. I'm gonna walk...I'm gonna walk this situation off, and I will see you later. Nothing to look at! Go back to work everyone! Don't act like you're not impressed!
Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh!
Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire, my lady.
Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper, filled with Indian food! Oh, excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people.
Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News worker: Smells like Bigfoot's dick!
Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
Announcer: You're watching Channel 4 News, with five time Emmy award winning anchor Ron Burgundy, and Tits McGee.
Veronica: Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.
Ron: And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy.
Diggs: Alright team, we got work to do.
Butch: You're not going anywhere.
Diggs: What? Why not?
Butch: Because you don't have your new collar... Agent.
Seamus: Go ahead with you bad self, Bling.
Lou: You guys ready to do this?
Catherine: Work with a bunch of dogs again? How could I say no.
Seamus: Absolutely! Wait we're talking about lunch right?
Diggs: Alright team, Lets go kick some tail.
Catherine: Nice try Kitty, but there are a lot of dogs in this world, what are you going to do? Go door to door with your little sound? It would take you the rest of your nine lives.
Kitty Galore: That's true, unless I had a... satellite!, why do you think I'm been telling you all this? I got time to kill until my satellite is in position, then, Once I beam the signal, It will instantly broadcast from every TV, radio and cell phone on earth.
[Fred is moaning, the male cop knocks on the window.]
Male Cop: Are you okay?
Grace: Don't worry. This isn't what it looks like.
Fred: Yeah, it isn't.
Grace: I was giving him a faux-job.
Male Cop: A faux-job?
Female Cop: Yeah, that's when a woman goes south on a man but she doesn't use her mouth. So she uses her hands and makes noises.
Fred: Wait, what?
Rusty Griswold: Maybe for lunch we can find a burger place. You know, like a... Like a drive-through burger place.
James Griswold: I don't know, Dad. I think we should steer clear of that.
Rusty Griswold: Good one, James.
Debbie Griswold: All right, enough, you guys. Dad hit a cow, okay? Let's just moo-ve on.
Kevin Griswold: Oh, I got one.
Rusty Griswold: Yeah, let's hear it.
Kevin Griswold: James is a piece of shit.
Rusty Griswold: Kinda missed the point there, buddy.
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