Felix Ungar: I put order in this house. For the first time in months, you're saving money. You're sleeping on clean sheets. You're eating hot meals for a change and I did it.
Oscar Madison: Yes, that's right. And then at night after we've had your halibut steak and your tartar sauce, I have to spend the rest of the evening watching you Saran Wrap the leftovers.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.
Felix Ungar: Felix.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, right, Felix.
Cecily Pigeon: Like the cat.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, well, the Pigeon sisters had better beware of the cat.
George Kellerman: And you're not getting away with anything! I got all your names and your addresses.
Gwen Kellerman: George, I can't walk and you can't carry me. And there are no buses, or taxis, and no car is going to stop to pick up bleeding strangers.
George Kellerman: It's not safe in the park at night.
Gwen Kellerman: We have already been robbed and kidnapped. We have nothing to lose but four cents. Please, George.
George Kellerman: Suppose it rains again?
Gwen Kellerman: I am so wet now, it can only make me drier.
George Kellerman: Oh, please, please if there's any justice let Murray get mugged by the man who took my watch.
George Kellerman: I was going to take you to dinner at one of the best restaurants in the world. Here you are eating peanut butter on white bread with nothing to drink. If you ever get your mouth open again, I wouldn't blame you if you never talk to me.
Gwen Kellerman: Oh my God.
George Kellerman: What's wrong?
Gwen Kellerman: I lost my left eyelash.
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