Quotes from Ryan Reynolds movies and TV shows - page 2 of 5

Recruiter: Mr. Wilson.
Wade Wilson: How can I help you? Besides luring children into a panel van.

Blind Al: Why such a douche this morning?
Wade Wilson: Let's recap: the cock-thistle that turned me into this freak slipped through my arms today... Arm... Catching him was my only chance to be hot again, get my super sexy ex back and prevent this shit from happening to someone else, so yeah, today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo.

Blind Al: Screw, please.
Deadpool: Here? Now? Just kidding. I know it's been decades.
Blind Al: You'd be surprised.
Deadpool: Pretty grossed out.

Vanessa Carlysle: I love you, Wade Wilson. We can fight this.
Wade Wilson: You're right. Cancer's only in my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain. All things I can live without.

Deadpool: Daddy needs to express some rage.

Friso94

Deadpool: I'm touching myself tonight.

Ajax: One thing that never survives this place is a sense of humor.
Wade Wilson: Oh, we'll see about about that Posh Spice. Oh, come on. You're gonna leave me all alone here with less angry Rosie O'Donnell?

Deadpool: [Farts as he walks past Blind Al.] Hashtag drive-by.

Deadpool: You're still here? It's over. Go home. Oh, you're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don't have that kind of money. What are you expecting? Sam Jackson to show up? With an eye patch and saucy little leather number? Go. Go. Oh! But I can tell you one thing, and it's a bit of a secret. For the sequel, we're going to have Cable. Amazing character. Bionic arm, time travel. We have no idea who we're going to cast yet, but it could be anybody. Just need a big guy with a flat top. Mel Gibson. Dolph Lundgren. Keira Knightley. She's got range, who knows. Anyways, big secret. Shhh. Oh, and don't leave your garbage all lying around. It's a total dick move. Go.

Bishop73
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Deadpool: So dark. You sure you're not from the DC universe?

Deadpool: Give me your best shot, One-Eyed Willie!

Deadpool: Pump the hate brakes, Thanos.

Juggernaut: I'm gonna melt you down and make a cock ring.

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Deadpool: Well, that's just lazy writing.

Ryan Reynolds: [Looking at Green Lantern script] You're in the big leagues now, kid. [Shot in the head by Deadpool].

Deadpool: We need them tough, morally flexible and young enough to carry a franchise for 10-12 years. We'll be known as... X-Force!
Domino: Isn't that a little derivative?
Deadpool: You're absolutely right.

Deadpool: And that's why "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" is pure pornography.
Dopinder: Wow!
Domino: I really should have stayed in college.

Domino: Where is he? I can’t see him!
Deadpool: He’s on top of you! He’s going in through the back! Oh, God! He’s inside!
Domino: You hear yourself, right?
Deadpool: Accidental double entendre!

Deadpool: So you're an alien, I guess. How does that help us?
Shatterstar: I'm basically better than you at everything.
Deadpool: Just once, I'm gonna find a planet of people that are worse than me at everything. A bunch of functional idiots. I'm gonna go there, and I'm gonna be their Superman.
Weasel: Isn't that Canada?
Deadpool: You shut your goddamn trash mouth.

Bishop73

Deadpool: Hey! It's me! Don't scratch! Just cleaning up the timelines.

Bishop73
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