Blind Al: Why such a douche this morning?
Wade Wilson: Let's recap: the cock-thistle that turned me into this freak slipped through my arms today... Arm... Catching him was my only chance to be hot again, get my super sexy ex back and prevent this shit from happening to someone else, so yeah, today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo.
Deadpool: You're still here? It's over. Go home. Oh, you're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don't have that kind of money. What are you expecting? Sam Jackson to show up? With an eye patch and saucy little leather number? Go. Go. Oh! But I can tell you one thing, and it's a bit of a secret. For the sequel, we're going to have Cable. Amazing character. Bionic arm, time travel. We have no idea who we're going to cast yet, but it could be anybody. Just need a big guy with a flat top. Mel Gibson. Dolph Lundgren. Keira Knightley. She's got range, who knows. Anyways, big secret. Shhh. Oh, and don't leave your garbage all lying around. It's a total dick move. Go.Bishop73
Deadpool: So you're an alien, I guess. How does that help us?
Shatterstar: I'm basically better than you at everything.
Deadpool: Just once, I'm gonna find a planet of people that are worse than me at everything. A bunch of functional idiots. I'm gonna go there, and I'm gonna be their Superman.
Weasel: Isn't that Canada?
Deadpool: You shut your goddamn trash mouth.
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