Joe Gideon: No, nothing I ever do is good enough. Not beautiful enough, it's not funny enough, it's not deep enough, it's not anything enough. Now, when I see a rose, that's perfect. I mean, that's perfect. I want to look up to God and say, "How the hell did you do that? And why the hell can't I do that?"
Angelique: Now that's probably one of your better con lines.
Joe Gideon: Yeah, it is. But that doesn't mean I don't mean it.
Carly Marshall: I suppose we all have to grow old someday. I just don't think you got to look bad in the process.
Leigh Bowden: I'd like to know just how strong we are. Or How weak. But I guess the only way we're gonna find that out is just by going through this.
Leigh Bowden: You don't know Danny. If she finds a palmetto bug in her bedroom, she takes it outside. She could never kill anything.
Claude Kersek: Even a six-foot palmetto bug?
Mr. Bebe: Come along with me, Fanny.
Frances Farmer: Frances. You know, I'm not the cookbook.
Mr. Bebe: You see, you've got to change that name.
Arresting Sergeant: Your name?
Frances Farmer: You jerks drag me down here in the middle of the night and you don't know who the hell I am?
Arresting Sergeant: Your name lady?
Frances Farmer: Frances Elena Farmer. Want me to spell it?
Arresting Sergeant: And your address?
Frances Farmer: Put me down as a vag, vagrant, vagabond. What is this, a joke? It's a joke? Assault and battery? Huh? I barely touched that bitch.
Arresting Sergeant: Occupation?
Frances Farmer: Cocksucker.
Albert: Louise, I swear to you there is no money. If you only knew what was going on in that hospital. It's not only the IRS, I'm in deep financial trouble, and I need you to hold me, to hug me, to kiss me, to reassure me that everything isn't as hopeless as it looks.
Louise: The only thing that is hopeless, Albert is that you're horny 24 hours a day.
Martha Baring: Now, why can't you just be sensible. Leave your life and your work and your friends and move in here with a controlling old woman, and a big ranch of horse shit.
Helen: You're not that old.
Dwan: You know I had my horoscope done before I flew out to Hong Kong. And it said that I was going to cross over water and meet the biggest person in my life.
Dwan: I'm Dwan. D-W-A-N, Dwan. That's my name. You know, like Dawn, except that I switched two letters to make it more memorable.
Dwan: Oh, I didn't mean that. Honest, I didn't. Sometimes I get too physical. It's a sign of insecurity, you know, like, like when you knock down trees. Such a nice ape. Such a nice, sweet - nice, sweet, sweet monkey. You know, we're gonna be great friends. I'm a Libra. What sign are you?
Mary: I love the bones of you, Robert McGregor, but you take too much to heart that canna' be helped.
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