Joe Gideon: No, nothing I ever do is good enough. Not beautiful enough, it's not funny enough, it's not deep enough, it's not anything enough. Now, when I see a rose, that's perfect. I mean, that's perfect. I want to look up to God and say, "How the hell did you do that? And why the hell can't I do that?"
Angelique: Now that's probably one of your better con lines.
Joe Gideon: Yeah, it is. But that doesn't mean I don't mean it.
Carly Marshall: I suppose we all have to grow old someday. I just don't think you got to look bad in the process.
Leigh Bowden: I'd like to know just how strong we are. Or How weak. But I guess the only way we're gonna find that out is just by going through this.
Leigh Bowden: You don't know Danny. If she finds a palmetto bug in her bedroom, she takes it outside. She could never kill anything.
Claude Kersek: Even a six-foot palmetto bug?
Mr. Bebe: Come along with me, Fanny.
Frances Farmer: Frances. You know, I'm not the cookbook.
Mr. Bebe: You see, you've got to change that name.
Arresting Sergeant: Your name?
Frances Farmer: You jerks drag me down here in the middle of the night and you don't know who the hell I am?
Arresting Sergeant: Your name lady?
Frances Farmer: Frances Elena Farmer. Want me to spell it?
Arresting Sergeant: And your address?
Frances Farmer: Put me down as a vag, vagrant, vagabond. What is this, a joke? It's a joke? Assault and battery? Huh? I barely touched that bitch.
Arresting Sergeant: Occupation?
Frances Farmer: Cocksucker.
Albert: Louise, I swear to you there is no money. If you only knew what was going on in that hospital. It's not only the IRS, I'm in deep financial trouble, and I need you to hold me, to hug me, to kiss me, to reassure me that everything isn't as hopeless as it looks.
Louise: The only thing that is hopeless, Albert is that you're horny 24 hours a day.
Martha Baring: Now, why can't you just be sensible. Leave your life and your work and your friends and move in here with a controlling old woman, and a big ranch of horse shit.
Helen: You're not that old.
Dwan: You know I had my horoscope done before I flew out to Hong Kong. And it said that I was going to cross over water and meet the biggest person in my life.
Dwan: I'm Dwan. D-W-A-N, Dwan. That's my name. You know, like Dawn, except that I switched two letters to make it more memorable.
Dwan: Oh, I didn't mean that. Honest, I didn't. Sometimes I get too physical. It's a sign of insecurity, you know, like, like when you knock down trees. Such a nice ape. Such a nice, sweet - nice, sweet, sweet monkey. You know, we're gonna be great friends. I'm a Libra. What sign are you?
Mary: I love the bones of you, Robert McGregor, but you take too much to heart that canna' be helped.
Archibald Cunningham: Think of yourself a scabbard, Mistress McGregor, and I the sword. And a fine fit you were, too.
Mary: I will think on you dead, until my husband makes you so. And then I will think on you no more.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.